Lover Forever
by asil502
Summary: Qhuinn just isnt the same after Blaylock hooked up with someone else, Q's cousin Saxton. Blay is torn between a Male Of Worth Saxton & his True Love qhuinn V&B must deal with their BROmance, & the rising sexual tension between the 2. What R the men 2 do?
1. Chapter 1

Lover Forever

These characters do not belong to me. They are from the amazing JR Ward series The Black Dagger Brotherhood.

There are some spoilers if you haven't read all of the books.

_two months after John Matthews and Xhex mated._

"So who is going to drag his ass out this time?" Xhex rubbed the back of her short trimmed hair as she looked around at the group of 3 pro football player size fearless warriors with her. The ever smiling, charismatic Butch, the forever brooding bisexual-still-in-love-with-my-best friend-even-though-we-are-both-mated Vishious, who just sent me a go fuck yourself look of death. And of course my hellren John Matthews.

"Don't look at me," Vishious spat. "This is getting old, real quick. We have a race to protect. I'm sick and tired of ALL of my visions being about this asshole."

John sign. I_ did it last night .4 times_! He looked back at V then at Xhex. She could certainly feel the sadness that John felt, and how annoyed the other two brothers were. Not like she could blame them. Ever since her and John was mated Wraith let Quinn have nights off. And every night he was in the city drinking and smoking anything and everything he could get his over-sized hands on.

"Last time i did it, he really made me work hard not to show him just how half breed i am." she continued. John felt guilty than.

"I'll Do it," Butch offered. "V's right, we got a race to protect." Butch sent a smile V's way, who quickly blushed but didn't say anything.

_Thank you_, John sign as Butch walked into the bar.

"Gimme another Lisa," Quinn slurred as he slammed the shot glass down on the counter. He had what? 17 shorts of Patron, and could easily take 10 more. The numbness was starting to kick in. He knew this shit didn't last long in his blood stream but anything to make him forget about his Bla...Ok so wasn't going needed to get his mind on anything other than what haunted him. What kept him up all day, do to his dreams, and distracted him every night. Lisa filled his glass, winked and sauntered away.

She was a big girl, round stomach, round ass, round tits, full lips that a had a lip ring on the left side. Some people might mistake her for a goth, but he knew for a fact her favorite band was Hanson. There was no denying it, she was a Big Beautiful Woman. He always liked his women with alot of meat, well when he liked women that is. He watch her walk away, as someone grabbed his quickly with his sluggish reflexes pivoted out of the hold.

"Time to go brother," Butch smiled that warm smile, that he had seen him give to V many times.

Quinn just eyed the lucky mated male, who still had his best friend. "Brother I am not." he slurred as he sat back down hellbent on achieving his numbness.

Butch joined him, by pulling the split fake leather stool next to his wounded friend. "Maybe not yet, but one day, i see it and so does V."

Well that was news to Quinn, never knew the studly V was having visions about him. "I don't want to leave just yet." he put the glass to his lips and swallowed the liquid with in.

"Another!" He called for Lisa.

"No thank you, sweetie, i believe my friend is finished." Butch smiled to the plus size girl about to refill the glass.

"You are not my father!" Quinn looked over at the brother.

"I think not, I am your brother, and you have had enough." Butch said loud enough for the girl to hear, but lean close to Quins pierced ear to whisper the rest. "Now either get your ass up and walk out that door on your own. Or i will gladly throw your ass out myself. It is your choice, but i think for dignity sake you might want to choose your feet this time. Enough is enough Quinn."

Quinn glared at him. How dare he come and spoils his plans. He wasn't hurting anyone. All he wanted was to get out of that mansion, away from the sympathetic looks he received from the brothers, the advice John signed and of course the blissfulness his Blay was having with another man.

OUCH Quinn grabbed at his heart, as the tears stung his eyes. Every time! Every fuckin time, he thought of it, his chest split open and some unknown force ripped his heart out, threw it on the ground and waltz all over it.

Butch grabbed and cradled Quinn to his chest as he felt the silent sobs and smelled the salted tears.. "come home brother."

"Oh, Blaylock, you can not be seriously thinking of wearing that?" Saxton laughed from the bed him and his lover was sharing in the brotherhood mansion. He look hungrily at his delicious Blaylock, red hair, Tall, tawny skin, well sculpted muscles, tight ass, and the massive bulge his lover was hiding in his boxer briefs.

"I believe it will do," Blay smiled looking at Saxton lounging on the bed.

"Yes, i suppose, but i like it better on the floor and you in the bed naked and panting." Saxton winked.

Blaylock blushed and went back to looking through his suits, Him and Saxton was going out to celebrate their 8 blissful week they had as a couple. He heard Saxton get out of bed and walk right behind him.

"So beautiful, My Blaylock," Saxton whispered in his ear sending chills down his spin and hardening his cock even more.

Saxton took a deep breath inhaling the scent on Blays neck where the fang makers had just disappeared and lick Blays right ear lobe, "Come to bed Lover, let me take care of you." Saxton took his left hand, and gently reached into Blays straining boxers.

He moaned, as Saxton wrapped the hand around his rock hard shaft, and slowly stroked him.

"Come for me Lover." Saxton whispered again in his ear. "But please my Lover next time, scream my name, not his."

Blay went limp.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"If that punk bastard is not out here in two minutes," V ranted only taking a breath when he took a hit off his hand rolled. "I'm going to go in there and give him some fist-to-elbow action." Another drag and more pacing. "And not the pleasurable type, true?"

John tensed, i seen what he was thinking, and because of all his blood inside me, i felt it even more. He visualized V punching Quinn, then John as stupid as he knew, would go and try like hell to pull him off and then the real fight would began.

V looked at John in the eyes. "You sure you ready to dance with Devil, John?"

Me being me, i straighted and looked at the brother grabbing my GLOCK. He hurts my Hellren and the not so nice side of me will have him on knees relieving the pain he once had when he took a swan-dive off his penthouse balcony. The big Brother flinched, recovered and stared at me in disbelief.

"True," i replied. V did not scare me, i understand his not liking me. I had Butch, his glare intensified. OK, OK, i had HIS Butch, but that was a long, long time ago in galaxy far far away. Back before John came into my life, even before he was the small pre-tans that just stared at me. Me and V smirked together, I decided to allow V to relive my memory, hell it was only fair.

"As long as we are clear," V smiled my way, than looked at John who was fuming. John would wait until we was alone than shout in his mind to me that he don't need me to fight his battles. If only he could see that i don't mean too. People just don't fuck with what is MINE.

V clapped him on the shoulders, "Sorry, my Man. It just a little tense right now. The noggin is starting to do its own thing, without my permission. Forgive me."

John nodded his head but stared at door. Great, this was going to be a long fucking night, and even longer day.

sorry, the one word apology the Brother sent my way. He knew what was in-store for me, by the stiffness in John, and i don't mean in his pants. Although that was my favorite kind. My face flushed, because i remembered how he woke me up this evening from the inside out. My nipples perked, my core started to drip, ruining Johns boxer briefs i was wearing under my leather. I had to always have something of his on me(or in me) at all times MMMMM, my Hellren, Johns nostrils flared, and his bonding scent bombarded my nose, making me lick my teeth. Yes, tonight was going to be a very very long night.

I could feel John's relief when Butch walked out of the cesspool of bar with Quinn at his side. God Quinn looked like shit. The guys eyes were red from what must have been tears. Damn the boy was breaking down. I was trying to be understanding, but he did bring this all on himself.

"He wasn't ready," was V's low response to my thinking.

Quinn walked up to John, not looking any of us in the eye, and fell into Johns embrace.

"I just don't want to feel sometimes, is that so wrong." John kissed his best friend on the top of the head and held him.

Saxton pulled his hands out of Blay briefs, but gently rubbed up his lover side. "I am sorry." I whispered in my lovers ear. Blay just stayed limp, and stared into his closet. FUCK ME I knew I was making a mistake by bringing IT up, Quinn was taboo subject, something that was not allowed to be talked about. I'm not stupid or delusional, Blaylock was still in love with Quinn, MY cousin. He tried to hide it, but i could tell by the lack of direct eye contact, but how they both stared at each other out of the corner of their eyes, how Blay went rigid whenever that bastard walked into a room, and sagged in relief when IT would leave. No matter how understanding I am, it was killing me too. I was starting to fall in love with this red haired warrior, with those beautiful kind eyes, and gentle manner. How fiercely loyal Blaylock was to everyone. Saxton knew he was getting in way to deep with Blay when he would spend every evening at the Brotherhood mansion, when Blay was out fighting, pacing with other shellans. He laughed, did he really think he could mate with this male. This beautiful warrior of worth? Nothing ever went right in his life.

"its fine," Blay said roughly. Turning around in Saxton's embrace,those deep eyes doing strange things to Saxton's body. "I've been in-love with the same male my entire life," he broke the eye contact and left Saxton's embrace to go sit on the bed. Saxton couldn't believe it, Blay was going to openly talk about Quinn. "I try to get over it, get away from him." Blay was looking at the carpet by my feet, not my eyes, he noticed. "Saxton, i do try, and i enjoy the time we share. I know it hurts to watch me pine after someone of your blood, and i am sorry. I just cant stop." He looked at me then. I seen it all before, the pain, the shame, the self loathing.

"I know, Blaylock beautiful warrior. I know how you feel, i shouldn't push you."

Blay stood up and wrapped his arms around me, the embrace was warm and felt amazing. His beautiful flawless hand brushed my cheek, i took a chance and glanced up at his eyes.

"Saxton, can we still try? I know i am a bastard, and i have more baggage than, than..."

I had to smile watching Blay try and be witty, poor beautiful baby. More time, my warrior just needs more time. Surely i can give him that, easily, and i will suffer with him, but i will help get over IT, i will.

"Shhh, Blaylock," kissing his lips. "We can still try."

Blay replied, by deepening his kiss.

We pulled up in the SUV, damn it I love that cop, but it sucks that he cant dematerialize. V thought as they pulled into the parking garage. Xhex that demon female was driving Quinn's Hummer with John still holding Quinn in the backseat. I wonder how she did that, how she could watch John kiss Quinn and show him affection. V glanced over at Butch and answered his own question. The female called him out tonight. His mind was back before he met his shallan. Not like he didn't love Jane, he did, she was his number one, and he couldn't live in a world that she didn't exist. Wow what a sap, he was quoting teenage vampire novels. But Butch was haunting his thoughts again, and he told her about it after he woke up rock hard panting Butches name. She wasn't mad, and she made him pay for calling out the cops name. Well pay for it away he didnt mind making payments.

You love him so much," she whispered in his ear than licked his neck as she handcuff him to the rack. V shivered, looking up at her as she put on Butch's wool Red Sox Cap. "You have the right to remain silent," she had said.

His bonding scent started pouring out of him, as he hopped out of the SUV on too the pavement.

"Whoa V, don't start to early, she just on the opposite side of that door." Butch smirked, as he walked up to his best friend. Quinn's tears had dried on the black tshirt but left a stain. V felt that small twinge, well large twinge of jealousy again. Marked by another man.

V punched Butch in the arm. If you cant fuck him, beat em. He thought quickly, but he knew he didn't want to fuck his roommate, he wanted his roommate too..

"Owww, Fucker!"

V smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. I am such a fucking pervert, I'm sick and twisted, and still in love with my best friend.

V sighed as he open the door not waiting for Xhex, John and Quinn. He needed to see his other true love, and he was in need to be punished.


	3. Chapter 3

i know that Qhuinn isnt a blubbering fool, well maybe just the blubbering. I am just trying to set up things. I am not an amazing writer, im better at seeing this stuff in my head, than putting it in words. I hope you guys can see what im trying to show. Sorry for the delay in updating but there will be more. Thank you for reading!

Chapter 3

Where too? John sign as our feet touched the ground, after hoping out of the Hummer. I looked at his hands, i just didn't have it in me to meet his eyes. I cant take anymore sympathy right now, even if it was from my other best friend.. Not that its the only thing going on through my fucked up brain at the moment. Butch is right, I have to straighten up my act, I have a job to do, the race needs me. Yet all i can do is think 'I', Think about me and whats going on with the here and nows in my so-called fucked up life.. Man this shit sucks, this having fucking emotions, god i sound like chick. I hurt all over, from my constant headache, to this unremitting heartache. Yea i just used the word unremitting to describe it. Blay would be proud of me for increasing my fucking vocabulary. Ouch FUCK THIS DAMN PAIN.

"I got him John, go on and clear everyone out, I'll help Qhuinn to his room." I heard Xhex whisper to John, and wait is that her ridiculously ripped arms around me. Fuck me i passed out again.

"I'm cool, really." God damn it i opened my eyes into her cold stare. She didn't look happy.

She looked toward the entrance into the mansion, than right back at me the anger showing clearly on her face. "I am angry." She answered my thoughts, i hate when she fucking does that.

"Well that is just something you are going to have to get the fuck over. I am sick of this Qhuinn! I am sick of you going and getting shit faced every night, and ONE OF Us always having to come drag your ass out of some fucking hole in the wall bar or situation because you cant deal. GET OVER YOURSELF!" she roared, than let me go, and i feel on my ass.

"Jeez X tell me how you really feel," I laughed, because it was either that or cry. After a speech like that like hell i am going to let this female see that. She offered her hand, but i waved it off and stood up myself.

"I am so thrilled you find my words funny Qhuinn, it amuses me how you can laugh everything off, when the people that love you are worried sick over you."

So didn't need this spill right now, i mean seriously, kick a motherfucker while they are down. Does she not see that i get, that i am a fucked up defect, i am a pariah, a fungus, i am goddamn leprosy for fuck sakes. I GET IT!

She just shook her head, as she paced in front of me blocking my way to the door. "No i don't think so. Blay spent.."

"Don't you dare talk about him to me."

"Well somebody needs too, this has gotten way to out of hand." She stared at me, cocking her head like i was something strange, and new. What the fuck.

"It is not your business Xhex," fuck her, i can walk myself back to my own room. She doesn't need to worry about me and Blaylock. Not like there is much of that. I try to make myself ghost around. I couldn't even remember the last time we talked, instead of having a peripheral staring contest.

"It is my business, My Hellren, your best friend is worrying himself to death about you."

"Well i am sorry that my fucking heartbreaking is killing your blissful happily ever-fucking-after!" Did i just admit that my heart was breaking, or is broken, and shattered, and just all sorts of fuck up shit. Yeah i did,. Man when did i get so weak. I did this, i did this to me and Blay. He has been in love with me since fucking forever, and i loved him too. I just didn't see how deep, and how much he meant. I had these stupid thoughts that i would one day mate a nice female from a respectful family, have some little ones running around. I thought thats what i would be, not this sap crying like a chick watching a Lifetime movie. I shoved him away, i did everything i could to keep him away and have him move on. Then when he did, i became a jealous fucking idiot, with premature bonding scent ejaculation.

"I can see in your head when you are angry, i know everything that you are thinking at the moment. Being angry with John, with Blay, and with Saxton isn't fair."

Well doesn't she just know how to poke a fucking wound over and over until it she cant read too far into my head, or she would see that i am happy for John getting what he wants. What kind of fuck up friend am i? John is my boy, after all he has been through from living with the humans, the rape, loosing Tohr and Wells, he deserves some happiness. I am not that fucked up that i am angry at him for it. Saxton on the other hand, that name alone makes my skin crawl. He has been with what 200+ men by now, Blay is just another notch on his bedpost, another name on a very long guest list. Oh who the hell am i kidding, my cousin is amazing, educated, successful,good looking, both eyes are even the same fucking color. A true male of worth. A better match for him than I. I could only bring him shame, as i fuck up his life. I mean what kind of life can i offer him. I'm marked for fucked sake, forever bound to John, and up until now that hasn't bothered me. I would love to be able to do things with my Blaylock, take him overseas, own properties all over the world, wake up every evening somewhere new, as long as he was curled up behind my back. But that life isn't possible for me, and anytime i need a reminder all i have to do is look in the mirror at the tear drop tatted on my face. Everyone tells me its red.

"I love John, and i want everyone to be happy. So i am going to skip last meal and head up to my bedroom. I got shit to sort out."Damn it my voiced cracked. I gotta get away from everyone.

"Before you go and drown yourself in your misery," she grabbed my forearms and looked into my eyes. "You are a male of worth, maybe not by the aristocrats standards, but you are. You and Blay could have an amazing life together" Yeah OK, if Blaylock would have me now, but there is always hope that i didn't fuck this up. "its obvious the guy is still in loved with you. That sort of love doesn't die, just because some good tail came into his life."

Well i was grinning, but that defiantly wiped it off my face, now my top lip is peeled back exposing my fangs, and my damn bonding scent ripped out of me. Xhex started laughing.

"You should see your face, priceless." She didn't mention the damn weird spice scent that was pouring out of my body at the moment.

"Yeah, well fuck you," I growled than pushed past that beast of a woman. I have a date with 3 very important men, Jack Daniels, Jose Cuervo, and Jim Beam.

"Blaylock, can you come in here son," the king said from the open door. Blay stopped his walking and fondling of his cuffs. Damn it my head is so fuzzy, i am so confused, dearest Scribe Virgin, help me. I didn't even realize the darn door was open. Good thing I'm not out there fighting, Blay thought as he walked into the feminine room. It always made him chuckle, well on the inside, you don't laugh at the blind king out loud. Wraith was sitting behind his huge desk, petting Georges head. He looked so at ease, and his tone was sympathetic, this cant be good.

"Yes, sir, how may i be of service." Blay bowed slightly, he couldn't help it he was raised right.

"You don't have to bow to me son, please have a seat."

Blay sat down on the comfy blue chair right in front of the king. "thank you sire."

Wraith chuckled loudly, making Blay jump nearly out of his chair. "I don't think i will ever break you from that." The Kings face lost his smile and he became all business. "I would like to speak to you on a topic that i know you would rather be tortured my the Omega than deal with, and i am sorry. I try to stay out of my mens personal life, because i for damn sure don't want you all in my biz."

Blay started pulling at his collar, the temperature in the room surely raised a few hundred degrees. His eyes looking away from Wraith and the panting dog. Suddenly his cuffs didn't seem nearly as important as the pretty curtains that hung over the huge windows, so pretty, and such a nice color. Blay continued not wanting to be in this conversation right now.

"As you know, since John mated i have given Qhuinn some time to himself, leisure time if you will." Blay just nodded his head, he most certainly did not want to think about how Qhuinn spent those free nights, or better yet, who he spent those free nights with. "Well you see son, things with Qhuinn have gotten out of hand, and i have overlooked his behavior all of this time, hoping he would work things out himself."

Oh great what has he done this time, what female has he deflowered, sanctuary has he desecrated? Did Wraith really need to be talking to me about this. Qhuinn will be himself, sexy, charming, fucking anything with a pulse, well almost anything, he doesn't touch me. That bastard, he is everything you shouldn't want in a male, and yet here i am pathetically waiting, hopelessly devoted! despite the time i spent with Saxton, no matter how amazing he is, he isn't My Qhuinn.

"Sire, i am having difficulty in seeing why you are asking me. Me and him barely speak these days." and it kills me every time i look into those different color eyes, and know we are a million miles apart, even if we are in the same room. "So i don't know anything he does when he is out on his own, or who he is with." that last part came out tasting like bile. The King went still.

"You know nothing about his nightly visits to the bars?" Blay shook his head. "You know nothing of his drinking himself stupid, and causing scenes, you know nothing of the Brother dragging him out, as he kicks and screams and sometime cries to go back in?"

Blay heart stopped beating as it fell to his stomach. Qhuinn was hurting, my love, i mean my friend is in pain. But why? "No Sir."

"You know nothing of him staying locked up into his room, barely feeding, or him isolating himself from everyone. You honestly haven't notice any of this?' Blay shrank back, god yes, yes he has. Qhuinn was never around, never at any meals, never in the halls, never in the theater, or the gym. God why hasn't he seen this. How fucked up am I?

"Yes, i mean No, i mean, Fuck!" he said putting his big hand through his hair, he was trying to grow out.

Wraith chuckled again. "I don't think you have ever cursed in front of me." Blays cheeks matched his hair, than his head was down, buried in his hands. "Its OK son, we can help make him better, but i will need your help."

Blay glanced up, "I am not sure I can help. he doesn't want me around anymore, he never wanted me. So what can i do, what can i change?"

"Everything." was the Kings one word response.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I do not own any of these characters!

"Make me feel pain," V whispered in the doc transparent ear, just moments after he busted through the thick brotherhood door. Jane smiled crookedly at her husband. She knew what this was about, if in doubt all she had to do was look around the foyer to the other big brother sauntering in behind him. He has been feeling so guilty about this love, and bond he has with the former cop, it was actually kinda hot. Too bad he didn't see it that way. She thought to herself. Me and Marissa have talking about the tension between the two of them, and it didn't seem like it was going to get any better. Something needed to happen soon before something not so sensual and loving pushed its way through. Eventually the tension could possibly lead to something more violent, not a pleasant shook her head at that thought. Marissa and I agree that if something did happen with the two of them that we would not be mad, i would be disappointed to have missed all that sexy male on male skin but...

"Please, you're killing me," V whispered again, this time husky. "I can see everything you are thinking, and i just cant." He nuzzled into her neck, as Jane wrapped arms around her big warrior.

"Really baby, it wouldn't be a problem, and it would just get it out of the way.."

"No you don't understand," he pulled her closer slowly grinding himself into her. She chuckled feeling him grow fonder and fonder, as he inhaled her scent. So he can read my thought can he? Let me make this really interesting. The image of V, naked on all fours, popped into her mind, than she mad eye contact with the cop who was pretending to not pay attention to the twosome. She wanted to get every line of her husband second love correct, do him justice. So she imagined the cop naked on his knees behind V.

V went rigid, and his bits down below poked into her backside. Mmmm, how about now Butch thrusting slow, his abs contracting, while his with deformed pinky travels up his back, and grabs a handful of V's hair, Pulling him backward so their mouth was now joined into a kiss. God she was soaked with that thought, but her mind kept the fantasy playing in her head, it was then she knew, this wasn't just for Vishious. Imaginary Butch kept thrusting hard and fast, V's eyes closed tight, mouth slightly parted, pleasure all over his face.

V bonding scent burst out of him, it was the only warning she had before he threw her over his shoulder and headed toward the Pitt. She lifted her head up, finding the cop staring,keeping eye contact the entire time until they were out of sight.

Butch watched the entire scene with V play out. Not like he was staring at his best friend or obsessed with him or anything, Marissa just wasn't home, and well he had nowhere else to look. Yeah thats right, he just didn't have anything else to look at. Right, that exactly the reason, and I'm also the frickin tooth fairy! Pfft who the fuck am i kidding? Butch continued to beat himself up, until a pissed Qhuinn came busting through the door.

"fuckin sin-eater! miserable female! no wonder i never mated to one!"

"Whoa, my man, you want your boy to hear you talkin bout his female like that?" Butch smiled at the poor schmuck that was giving him a death stare, he now more than ever understood how he felt. it couldn't be easy for him realizing this entire time he was in love with his best friend, and now said best friend was with some other person just down the hall. Happy in the embrace of another, waking up with their scent saturating the walls in the room, and the hall, and where he fuckin tried to watch TV as he waited for Marissa to get home. Wait, he wasn't just talkin about Q anymore. GOD DAMN IT! I'm screwed. "You just going to keep staring at me? Am i more to your liking now? Sorry bud my hair isn't red." Butch was all too ready when Qhuinn attacked.

Butch had to give it to the man, he may have dodge the right hook, but he got the entire impact of the backward kick the kid shot at him. He recovered quick as the kid pounced on him baring fangs, knocking his leather clad ass on the floor. He had to let him, it wasn't fair to start a fight with him, just cause i am having a hard time dealing with my, my, my oh what the fuck ever it is!

"Chill, my man." he said looking into the kids eyes.

"Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck them! fuck her! Fuck this entire fucked up world." Qhuinn stayed on top of him, his face turning red, and his blue eye looked as if it was glowing!

"QHUINN!" Butch heard from the top of the stairs before the kid was hoisted off of him. It was the red head vixen, well that wasn't fair, it was Blay. He showed off his strength by gently throwing Qhuinn across the room. All he could do was sit there and watch the train wreck that was about to take place.

Blay had heard Qhuinn cursing Xhex as he walked the hall at the top of the steps, he was on his way to talk to his best friend. to warn him really, if he didn't stop this madness the Blind King was going to lay some serious law on his fine ass. When he heard the cop make a really stupid comment followed by a growl and some hand to hand, e sprinted to the stairs. Fuck my life, he seen Qhuinn on top of Butch, which at first sent a jolt of jealousy through him, but he didn't have time for such pettiness.

"QHUINN!" Blay yelled, right before he dematerialize, right behind his love, wrapping his arms around pulling him off the brother. He braced himself for Qhuinn to turn around and attack, he knew he was fast.

Qhuinn swung around ready to attack the fuckin asshole that stopped him from punching that cop in his beautiful face. Than he seen who threw his ass off the cop. Really? It had to be Blay, fuck my life, he thought. Blay stood there in a button down, fitted blue jeans, bracing himself for me to pounce. Pfft like i could hurt him, Q stood up straight and covered his fangs.

"I'm cool, Blay. I am not going to hurt you."

That wonderful heartbreakingly beautiful voice, Blay thought. "Like you could." he smiled.

Qhuinn went rigid not liking Blay choice of words. "I would never hurt you Blay, ever!" he made a slashing motion with his right hand.

Butch chose this moment to stand up. "Yeah, well obviously I'm not him," he nodded his head toward the red head cutie.

"No, you are not" Qhuinns voiced was laced with all sorts of venom. Butch raised his hands in surrender.

"I'm sorry my man, i shouldn't have messed with you." he took a bold step toward Qhuinn, his arms spread out. Qhuinn smiled at the cop and embraced his friends, "me too" he whispered in his ear.

"Well what the fuck just happen?" A very masculine voice boomed from the top of the steps, George on his leash by his side.

Well once again FUCK MY LIFE! QHuinn thought stepping out of the embrace and looking around at the gathered crowd. Xhex and a pissed off John, Rhage, and Z in the door way, and of course Fritz with a broom and dust pan. His eyes lingered on the old doggen, he couldn't help but smile.

"I am always prepared," was the witty response. Qhuinn couldn't help it, he busted out with a full belly laugh doubling over and clutching his side.

"Blaylock, get him to his room," Wraith ordered, "Before i kill him!"

Blays heart started beating again, he took a large gulp of air. He didn't know what the king would do. "Lets go." Blay gently put his hand on his best friends back.

Qhuinn stopped laughing when the contact was made and he gazed upon that beautiful face, then those beautiful eyes. "Yeah, I'm coming."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Hey guys and most def welcome new readers! Just to let know i am sorry it has taken me so long to update, I'm hoping to get better! Once again i will tell you, grammar and all that isn't my thing, True! I am more of a visual person, i see it all in this noggin of mine. Soo anyways I hope you enjoy.**

My body felt on fire at his touch, it instantly calmed me down, almost taming this beast, as if that was possible. Leave it to My Blaylock to calm me down after doing something really, really fuckin stupid. Hell i don't know why i attacked the cop. OK so maybe that is a lie, but the cop shouldn't have taunted me, but i guess right now i shouldn't be bothered with that thought, because i am looking into the most gorgeous eyes the Scribe Virgin ever open. Its moments like this when i look into that beautiful face, that i wish i could see just the shade of his eyes, to know the depth of them, i could swim in them all day. MY fucked up defect, to know what exactly the shade of his hair, the slight freckles on his elegant face. Is that even the right word for it, i can think of so many...well maybe when he isn't looking at me like that.

"Yeah I'm coming" I finally answer. I hear a collective sigh, and look around the room. FUCK MY LIFE, i forgot the entire brotherhood, Shellans, Fritz and the Blind King was here, starring at us. Maybe they are just waiting to see if i attack anyone again. How easy it is to forget them all when he is around, I turn my gaze back to BLaylock, did i just call him Blaylock again? Smiling at myself, i cock my eyebrow at him, "you going to get me outta here, before V sees the damage i did to his girlfriend or what?"

"Yo, Red, get Rainbow Not Too Fuckin Bright, outta here, before i take my glove off, True?" V laughed followed by small chuckles all around. Butch put his arm around V's shoulders, "I am YOUR girlfriend! You don't even bring me flowers anymore, and i cant even remember the last time you got me outta the house." V blushed then slugged the cop. "Maybe if you dress up for me every once in awhile, I would."

Well how about that, all the attention is on the original BRomance in the house and off of me. Thank you Scribe Virgin!

"Lets get out of here," BLay just whispered in my ear, his hot sweet breath caressing my neck, making me shiver, hell making everything that can 'pop' outta me, stand in attention. I inhale him, remembering his clean yet spicy scent, that is all him. HE is delicious.

My voice cracked because my throat just became really, really dry, breathing him in again, what the fuck can i say, i cant help it. "Yeah, lets," looking over his body, he is wearing nice fitted jeans, with a lighter shade wash, his button up seems to be around the same shade. He is completely heartbreakingly beautiful. Can men be beautiful? Looking at BLay again, and how he looks a bit uncomfortable, with my intense gaze on him, then his cheeks darken, the answer is yes, they most def can be. Smiling crookedly at him, i offer my left elbow, and wait for him to take it.

OK, OK, OK, Blaylock, calm your nerves. It is inappropriate to have an erection with everyone present, even if they are not paying the least bit attention to me. Royalty is feet away,for effin sakes, my mother would kick my ass! Back to the task at hand, Qhuinn. It will always come back to him wouldn't it. I tried to stay away from him, i really did. One of the toughest challenges i have ever put myself through. WE haven't been separated since, well since never after he walked into my life, and i couldn't let go. Thinking if i stayed away, things might get better, i might be able to control myself. Keeping myself away from Qhuinn, was a moot point. Now that he is calm and not about to do something stupid, i can finally take him in, well his black clad body. Ripping muscle under too tight of a tshirt, slightly spiky hair, not even a fight could push those spikes down, that mix-matched stare bore into me. I can not help but to start blushing, and thank the scribe Virgin i put on extra cologne, i can feel my bonding scent trickling out of my skin. Its been doing it since his transition, so i know just what to put on to neutralize it, well as much as one can. It's biology. WE are getting nowhere me just staring at his offered elbow so i take it, locking mine in his. WE fit so perfectly. The thought ran through my mind before i could stop it, and the pain in my chest is present all over again.

I escort him up the stairs to his room. A place i haven't ventured too since, goodness i am not sure how long. We both stand outside the door and he looks kind of uncomfortable. His free hand is now running up the back of his head, and he seems to be sweating as he fidgets.

"UMM Blay...yeah..umm, my room...umm"

The pain deepens as i realize what he is saying, he doesn't even want me here, Great Job BLaylock. Letting go of his elbow, i take a step back. "It is fine Qhuinn, i would not trespass on you anymore." Turning from him i close my eyes and start striding off, pushing back the tears, goodness i am not this weak. I feel a strong hand on my right bicep that pivots me around into a set of strong arm. MY reaction is to take a step back, bracing myself, before i look up at him. His gaze is just as intense as they were downstairs, it takes my breath away and allow myself this moment to feel as if he WOULD want me. Knowing the pain will hurt 10 folds i just allow this.

"BLaylock," i close my eyes at him saying my name, savoring it. HE continues to stammer on "i wasn't umm meaning...i mean you don't have too, I, well, i cant seem to do anything right."

Opening my eyes i see him rubbing his right thump in between his eyes. "WHAT are you trying to say, you have never been good filtering." I offered to help him along. HE looks up at me again. "Please come in, i haven't talked to you in what seems like forever, and i miss you, and i am embarrassed that my room is a mess." Now Qhuinn is the one blushing. I Allow myself another moment replaying the words 'i miss you', than i remember his other words and bust out laughing.

"You, have always been a slob, i know these things," I smile as i brush past him and open his door. HIS scent is everywhere, and i do mean everywhere as i step in. There are clothes covering every bit of his flooring. Well not just clothes i see the bottles and the crumbled up papers. I recognize his bed as just a larger pile of clothes. I Feel him standing behind me, we are a mere inch away from each other, his breathing is deep and when he inhales i feel his nipple ring on my back.

Here he is Qhuinn, go for it, stop looking at the back of his head, he is right here standing in your dirty clothes, just open your mouth and speak to him. Alrighty why the fuck am i talking to myself. Without thinking i place my hand on his shoulder, that he attempts to pivot out again. BUT this time BLays legs are wrapped around a bunch of clothes and he starts to fall. SHIT! I Am seeing this all in slow motion, grabbing his hand is a natural reaction that i also don't think about but loosing my balance as well i fuckin tumbling right after and i cant stop it. SO naturally where do i land? Right on top of him, my chest is touching his torso, my junk is right up against him, and oh yeah i am stiff again, something he has to have noticed. My hands are supporting my weight as i am spellbound by those deep eyes again. My brain cant even catch up, as i take my right hand and start stroking his side that is exposed due to his shirt rising because of the fall. i am cradled between his legs, caressing his body, staring in his eyes and i know this is where i need to be.

DO IT! Don't think QHuinn, kiss him. Just do it, you have been thinking nonstop about this for the last two months. Leaning down i feel BLAylocks chest rising rapidly, his face is looking panicky. WELL Shit, good going. HE isn't aroused, he is scared. i stop caressing his side and run my hand through his hair. "I AM sorry BLaylock," Than i spring up, and offer him my hand.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**hey guys this really should have been on chapter 5. enjoy**

MY breathing starts to get back to normal, well i believe so. What the hell just happens. I Was just standing there enjoying the sweet pleasure of our closeness then i, like a dumb ass freak out when he touches me. NOT Only that, my graceful self get caught up in his clothing and i fall down, but wait it only gets better. QHuinn reaches out to help, but of course he falls on top of me. THE feeling of his rock hard body touching mine, is almost enough to make cum in my pants. Did i just say cum in my pants, oh that would be a mess, i really like these jeans. Then i look up, and i see his stare yet again. GO two months without even a "GO fuck yourself" and now look at us. GOD he feels so amazing, those strong thighs in between mine, his scent is attacking my senses and i start to hyperventilate while he touches my side as he looks like he is about to kiss me. 'GO for it' i chant in my head. Knowing it is wrong, i cant help it.

Than i see the light leave his eyes, i suppose his senses are back. HE stops stroking me, and i want to cry in protest, than i feel his fingers scrape my scalp. Heaven, are my only thoughts, as i close my eyes. "I Am sorry BLAylock" and his weight is off of me. I Feel empty and heartbroken all over again. WHY must i keep doing this to myself. IT takes me a moment of self loathing before i realize his hand is extended. ONCE again i will say how pathetic i am, i take the offered hand, because i know that i will take ANY Contact he will allow me to have. Once i am back upright i look at him, with my wounded heart, "NO Qhuinn it is I, who is sorry." Walking past him, I cant even bring myself to look into those eyes again. I do not even want to speak for fear my voice will betray me.

"Please don't go," he mumbled in the lowest voice, bringing me to a stop. "I don't know what just happen, but i am sorry. I finally get you to look at me for more than second and i fuck it up." Still staring at the door taking deep breaths to center myself.

"You did nothing wrong, it was an accident, i understand." Still not turning around, i just can not at the moment. "Not really."he whispers i don't even know if he knew he said this out loud. Still gazing at the doorknob not really wanting to leave i get my courage up and turn around. "Your room is a hazard to my health QHuinn, i almost broke my ankle just on dirty clothes." I Playfully sniff myself. "Great now i am going to smell like you."

"Would that be so bad, Blay?" he stalks to wards me like a predator, and i am the prey. But this isn't the wild an i am not just food. Putting my hands up trying to diffuse the tension in the room.

"Yes," saying sharply, and i see the fall in his chin as his chest deflates just a bit. Goodness BLaylock make this better don't hurt him. YOU cant function if he feels pain. "when i smell like your sweaty ass" i chuckle. IT works because he starts to laugh too., and yet doesn't work on me because i am perverse

Looking around at my mess of a room to break the tension with Blay, i can not look at his eyes. I Felt so wounded when he tried to just leave, cuz i am such a woman now. Then when i was bold like my simpleton brain told me to take what is MINE, yes MINE ran through my brain. Anyways he said he wouldn't want to smell like me, part of me doesn't care and i just want to mark him. MY fangs almost exposed themselves. Blay makes the world, well my world go round, because he always know just what to say to make me feel better. Sniffing the room, and ignoring his spicy scent, i curl up my face. "Yeah sweaty booty isn't a good scent." YET the thought is arousing, OK i am fucked!

"Well not for a room of clothes, no it isn't," BLay smiled at me. "Here lets clean this room up." HE orders, than starts grabbing handfuls of my clothes and throwing them down the laundry chute i forget i have near my closet. NOT being able to help myself, i watch him bend over, and strut around in my room. HE looks completely at home, right and engrossed in the task at hand. Before i know what i am doing, i am just watching him clean with my mouth open. he disappears in my bathroom and reappears with a trash bag gathering my dead soldiers.

"Jeez how in the fade can you drink this much in a month?" he innocently asked. IF He only know that is just left over for the last few days. MY world without him is empty, and i know i did this to us, to him. I am just not good enough, i have more issue than SPIN, but than again HE knows about them all. YET still he is here with me now, gathering up the last of the bottles and now heading for the crumbled notes i wrote to THOSE NOTES! My body springs into action tackling him before his perfect hand grazes my sloppy hand written note begging him to forgive me for being an ass.

"WHAT THE FUCK" he yells as i roll on top of him. this time he looks pissed and not scared, have i ever mention how sexy he looks when he is angry! Smiling at him, i get up and help him up again.

"Sorry, pumpkin that is my biz." I answered him, grabbing all the notes and throwing them in my empty trash can.

"OKay that is fine, you just don't have to try and beat me up for helping you clean. you Neanderthal!" Blay chuckled. "WELL this room is habitable now." HE looked around the room, then looked back at me. "Qhuinn, I AM never this frank with you..."

My heart rate accelerates listening to him, this cant be good. I liked it better when we was ignoring the happening between us. "Can we go back to being friends?" My heart stops and drops. "ITS just I miss you too, and i know things have been crazy, and messed up with you and me since you have known about my feelings." HE Started to blush again, and i really can not believe the boldness of him bringing this up.

"Correction Blay more like since i outed you, i always knew." my dumb ass says without thinking because this time HIS face fell. "I AM Sorry BLAY i was just trying to lighten the mood, and since when did you get so bold. ME personally i am a puss and would have loved to keep tip toeing around the subject." Naturally that was the wrong thing to say, he is pissed again and not the sexy kind, the shit he might fuck me kind. then again that wouldn't be too bad.

TIP-TOEING AROUND THE SUBJECT! OF Course he would that what got him into this fuckin situation in the first place, and when did i get so bold, unlike him i am not a puss! Calm yourself BLAylock. "Qhuinn, actually i am sorry this isn't a good time." I glance at my watch seeing the late (or early hour). "I Should take off Saxton is prolly back, and he will be wondering where i am."

Looking up at him i see his fangs and i hear a growl, and for the first time in a long time i am scared of him physically, maybe i am a puss. I take a step back, as i inhale and his bonding scent is everywhere, having just a moment to brace myself when he pounces on me penning me to the floor with his thighs as he straddles my hips and takes my hand putting them above my head holding them in place with one of his. NOT sure what just happen i am paralyzed, i am scared, i am aroused, i am confused, and in the morning this is going to hurt.

Not knowing what happen i come back to myself, when i smell Blays fear hit my nose. Still one of the sweetest smells only because it belongs to him, i also smell is arousal and as much as i want to continue, i cant. Feel his body being trapped by mine, speaking of that word it keeps playing on repeat in my head. BUT i know that he isn't mine. he moved on, he wants to be friends and i am just scaring him, always hurting him. One last look at him, i hop off him and run into my bathroom slamming the door shut, turning the shower on and stepping in fully clothed. Maybe one day i will stop hurting him, and hurting myself. Maybe, but that day obviously isnt today.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**short but sweet I 3 Vutch, as much as i do the Quay. I do not own any of these characters, they all belong to JR WArd, who is a goddess.**

"Yo my man where did you go, you come back to me yet?" Butch asked waving his hand in front of his best friends face for easily the millionth time. Him and V was in the middle of a very important convo 2 hours ago, the topic 'The Red Sox's' of course. V just started staring straight and not blinkin on him. It scares the shit out of him when he does this, sometimes he comes back so weak he can barely move, worst is when his eyes are haunted. Sometimes he tries to ask him about the visions but V just shuts him out. Butch was now squat down in front of him snapping his fingers, and shaking V, but Nothing was working.

"Well son of a bitch...OWWWWW!" Butch rubbed the side of his head then turn towards the light that was suddenly pouring into the room. Knowing instantly who it was he looked towards the light. "whatcha do that for?" Butch asked the glowing cloaked figure, just in floating around in the room.

"Has the Brotherhood, or my son not taught you" She looked at the confused look on his face. "well i suppose not human." he heard her chuckle.

"Sorry," he said bowing. "And what do i owe...owwww!" he rubbed the other side of his face.

"You are still so much of a young human, Dehstroyer. You have yet to learn our way." she smiled secretly delighted he had not.

"Oh you mean about not asking you questions?" This time the thump on the back of his head came from a solid hand. Turning around he met his best friends hauntingly beautiful eyes, and he couldn't resist the smile that spread across his face.

"Yes, Butch i am," she chuckled again, using his human name just to get under his skin.

"Ouch momma of the race you wound me," he smiled grabbing at his heart and sitting down next to his best friend, their thighs touching. HE instantly felt better now that V was awake

.

V looked at his and the cops thighs, his slightly bigger than the Cop, but he liked the way the leather looked side by side, shaking his head from that thought, not wanting present company to read his mind, "Yo MA, what do i owe the pleasure?" V looked up at his mother hovering in the middle of his living room. HE so didn't need whatever it was she was bringing, the latest two visions kicked his ass. DAmn Qhuinn again, and this one involved him and Butch. HIs cheeks blush.

Butch elbowed him in the side. "Why you get ask her questions and not be slapped?"

V just arched his eyebrow, "Really Cop?"

Butch raised his hands in surrender, "Fine be that way, not my fault mister Potter you didn't get your chocolate after the dementors attacked you!" V looked at his best friend over, oh what he would love to do to him with his magic wand.

"Boys really? Must i have to treat you both like human school children, is this anyway i should be treated around my creations?"

V and Butch looked up at her throwing her fits. V has become accustom to these random visits, he should have expected it, he just left her a pair of bright ass Fairy Bluebirds, and yelp that is their name. As much as he resented her at first, he could never repay her for giving him Butch...and Jane, yes Jane, his Shellan! The birds are just a small token of his gratitude.

"I love them Son of Mine, they are so beautiful." her glow intensified under her cloak. V grabbed Butch's wrist as he lifted his hand to ask his mom why she is glowing more, and just6 shook his head at his curious friend.

"Have you named them yet?" he asked grinning thinking about the last two birds he brought her. A pair of Plum-Headed Finch, she named Big Poppa and Lil Kim.

He noticed her nodding

"I was thinking about Sid and Nancy." Butch and V both started cracking up at the same time. "Ow you two are so frustrating." with that she was gone.

"Bro, your mom is something else."

V nodded reaching for his bottle of goose taking a 'sip', then wiping his mouth. HE couldn't help but to notice Butch watching him intently, making him self conscious. Looking around, then at his watch 6:30am, the shutters are already down, sun be up very soon. "Cop, where is the little woman?"

Butch blinked and sat back on the couch no longer gawking at his best friend, i am a fuckin freak of nature, and motherfucker you better not be reading my mother fuckin mind! When V didn't flinch he answered. "The safe house, around 4:45 she got a civilian woman with 4 pretran males, all beaten, says the fuck of a dad sent them outside locking them out of the house AFTER he beat them all."

V went cold, he would make sure to track this bastard down himself. "4 pretran males, all from the same female? That's impressive!" HE took another drink from the bottle. Butch took the bottle from V, making his best friend look at him.

"Jane went straight there, seems like the oldest tried to protect his mother and his younger brothers, his dad showed no mercy." Butch could barely get that last part out.

"HE ain't no dad, come tomorrow all he is going to be is a memory." V cut his friend off.

"To quote a brilliant man, FUckin TRUE!" Butch fist pounded V, as V blushed at being called brilliant.

"Hey snicker-doodle, why you all red?" Butch asked taking a drink of V's bottle. All V could do was watch him wrap his lips around the same piece he just a moment before had his lips on. There was something truly erotic about it. A light spicy scent started to come out of V's skin. Butch sniffed the air, "yo bro you smell that?" Butch licked his lips. "Man that is mother fuckin mouth water." Butch got up to investigate the scent. V had projected that thought in his mind to give him time to stop his, well his 2ND bonding scent.

Chuckling to himself he noticed the disappointed look on Butch's face.

"Yo Cop whats wrong? You loosing some of that detective instinct?" V smiled knowing this would really get under his skin.

Butch teeth peeled back exposing fangs as he pounced on his friend, straddling his hips and getting in V's face, grabbing hair from the back of V's head yanking it back exposing his neck. OH yeah he knew V would love this, and Vs hair felt like silk in his hand.

He couldn't help but to moan as his eyes rolled to the back of his head as Butch lean down next to his ear, sending shivers all the way down to his toes. "Never, nothing gets past me forever."

V was rock hard and the scent started to come out of him again, he tried to stop it. "And i think you know that." Butch said sniffing his neck making sure to graze the vein that ran down the side of V's neck.

"S-t-t-t-t-o-p!" V stammered trying his best to not take charge of this situation. By that, meaning Butch on all fours and naked. That thought was his own undoing, The scent burst from his skin, noticing Butch inhaled taking in long drags of the intoxicating scent. HIS fangs elongated and V knew Butches senses took over. Before he knew it, he felt his neck being pierced by his friend. His body was alive, the pleasure started up in neck and went all the way to his groin. V's body tensed up, the pleasure was still building, as Butch kept taking greedy pulls from his neck. He reached a point in his gut that was white hot and he couldn't take anymore. HE released letting all of the tension out of his body, it going limp and him passing out.

"Yo my man where did you go, you come back to me yet?" Butch asked waving his hand in front of his best friends face for easily the millionth time. This is fuckin weird we was just talking about the motherfuckin red sox's.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**Hey guys sorry this is taking so long. I would just like to welcome the new readers, one of them being my best friends in the entire world! I LOVE YOU MY ALICE! Also thank you to everyone who reviews, like my good friend Lady Babette says, you guys keep me going. Lady Babette thanks for being muse, even if you didn't know it.**

**Chapter 8**

"STUPID BLAYLOCK!" screaming as i enter my room slamming my door, the tears bursting out of my eyes and down my face like a bloody female. The plus to this being...well i made it to my room before it happen. What a day, i am exhausted, and for once wished i was one of those vampires i read in human novels that die when the sunrises. glancing around the room, i see my bed is made and Saxton isn't here. Another plus, i couldn't imagine hurting him at this hour.

"i am such an idiot, why did i do this to myself." I fling myself face down onto my lonely bed, inhaling mine and Sax scents. -sighs-. Allowing myself just a moment or four of self loathing. I repeat "what a day. Dearest Scribe Virgin what have i done to deserve this" Gathering my pillow then flipping over to relax and relive tonights events. Lets see how did tonight start out, oh yes i remember now. My boyfriend jacking me off,mmm i remember his touch, he is half my size but he is so aggressive, and knows how to dominate me, taking charge and then...oh yeah then reminding me that i have a tendency to call him Qhuinns name. So naturally i go limp in his hand, then when after i feel like even less of a man I cry. So lemme see what else, oh yes my stroll, I'm walking thru the manse trying to get my mind together, and the king wants a word with me. Pfft some fuckin words. Basically told me if I, Blaylock son of Rocke, does not get Mr. Bipolar under control he is ordering a seclushion, and an isolashion for me and asshole. I never even heard of the latter. Saying he was going to ship me and Q OFF to a house, not let us out til we worked the whats going on between us. Threaten to send us to Kentucky of all places, what the hell is there? chuckling to myself, i suppose that would be the point. No distractions, we would either kiss and make up or kill each other, and how i am feeling now...i think i like the killing.

I roll over to my side and make eye contact with the people in the pictures that i have in frames. Standing up i walk over and look at the memories frozen in time. The largest is the family portrait i have of me, mom and dad right after my transition. my rounded mother, she never cared that our kind pride themselves on being thin, she is the most beautiful perfect women i have ever seen, with her gorgeous smile and kind eyes. "I miss you momma," I whisper to the picture as i stroke her hair. "i am so screwed up right now." Looking at my father, his strong features, he being a warrior, not a Brother, but who cares he will always be my hero."I Miss you too papa." I Sit the picture down, a bittersweet feeling rushing over me. I may not have my love, but have the love of a Male OF WORTH, support of The Brothers, and the love a family that will always love me no matter what. So this crying all the time, and following Q around, wishing and hoping a praying has to stop.

_**'Oh come on come on, you've been messing with my head For oh so long now**_,' i hear tinted windows blaring from my pocket, my text MSG ring tone going off, pulling my phone out i see its from sax.

**_ "MISS You my Warrior, i went home, see you this evening._**"

Smiling again, i send him back a '**_ditto and look forward to seeing you tonight_**.' sitting my phone down i look at my ipod docking station and push the power button, needing to get lost in the music, i open the play-list sections, and scroll down. 'yes this is perfect. "GUILTY PLEASURE mix!" I SQUEAL This time feeling giddy all of a sudden. Realizing how blessed you are, will have that affect on you. everyone has their feel good songs, i just so happen to have a bunch. PUTTING IT ON Random i walk to get my items ready thinking i am in need a shower, to wash away the day. stopping when i hear the drumbeats that start a song i remember singing to my mirror when i was kid.

**_ "Oh, Mickey, you're so fine You're so fine you blow my mind Hey, Mickey Hey, Mickey,'_** I CATCH MYSELF chanting along with the lyrics. Looking around, i demat to the bathroom, grabbing my lint roller to use as a mic. i keep on with the chant closing my eyes and loosing myself to the feel good beat, familiar lyrics, letting it take me away. Swaying my hips, and singing to my mickey.

**_ "Oh, qhuinny_**,' singing my remix just like i did all those years ago. **_'what a pity,You don't understand,You take me by the heart, When you take me by the han_**d" I pour all of myself into this silly song. '**_Oh, qhuinny, you're so pretty,Can't you understand, It's guys like you, Qhuiny,Oh, what you do, qhuinny, do, Qhuinny,Don't break my heart, Qhuinny.'_**

-BANG- i stop my dancing the smile leaving my face as i breathe in who is on the other side of the my door.

Just leave i kept telling myself, i lean my head on his door listening to him singing, hearing the smile i know he has on his face. I bet this one reaches those eyes of his. It is taking all of my strength to not bust this damn door down, and marking him as mine. The urge was almost unbearable after i heard him say qhuinny, a stupid nickname he secretly gave me, thinking i didn't know about it.

Smiling crookedly i think about the last time i heard him call me that. it was one of the last nights i stayed over his house before all hell broke loose. He thought i was asleep, but i could feel him staring at me. we had spent the night shopping, playing video games, and drinking. i passed out early on him in a wifebeater and basketball shorts i changed into after i spilled food all over me. laughing softly i had my own drawer. Remembering the smell of his arousal, it shocked me and made my cock rock hard. at the time i was still doing the denial twist. but i wanted him happy so, I pretend to be asleep, scratching my nipple ring lifting my shirt, making myself bare to him. i smelled his arousal even more, and blood poured into his cheeks. i could smell and hear it all. he touch himself quietly staring at me. Gah i am a fuckin idiot! Why didn't i see that i loved him earlier. i was fuckin rock hard, precumming all over myself as he whacked himself off to me, just a few feet away. i should have just open my eyes, and offered him my hand or fuck even my unworthy mouth. Dearest Scribe Virgin i want to taste him, but no i am stupid Qhuinn! I BANGED my head against his door, this time it being loud enough for him to hear. his singing top, and i smell his fear again. well shit!

Knocking this time he takes a moment to answer. 'You may enter Qhuinn." I open the door and look at him.

"I will only stay a moment," i assured him, trying to meet his gaze.

"Doesn't matter, stay or go." he crosses his arms over his chest and i see the pain clearly on his face. I want to reach out to him and say all of the right things. The problem is, i simply don't have these magic words and 'I'm sorry i ruin everything' just seemed to inadequate.

"I'm sorry I ruined everything," DAMN IT I SAID IT ANYWAYS! Slapping my forehead with my hand i want to cry, i want say sorry again, but I just ended up laughing.

"Well i am so fuckin happy i amuse you!" i hear his anger his words are like venom and it knocks some sense into me. He must think i am making fun of him. My senses take over and i grab him touching his face, tracing the line of freckles on his cheeks.

"I am just an idiot, i am sorry. I started laughing because.' Still looking into his eyes, i loose my train of though and start to dip my head to try and capture his lips.

"NO!" he said then pushed with all of his might out of his open door. Stun wouldn't even describe how i felt, hurt, rejected and like an ass. I didn't have much time to think about this, because in a split second i went from staring in his eyes to looking at the ceiling. He pushed me with so much force it sent my ass over the railing, and i was falling to the ground floor.


	9. Chapter 9

hello there all of you wonderful readers. i want to tell you how super sorry i am for not updating. my life just like everyone else's never goes as plan. Thanks to all the comments you have no idea how much they motivated me to start thinking and writing. So welcome new readers.

Lady Babette, my chica, girl thanks for listening to my rants and my thoughts! You help me through so much and i am grateful to have you.

Chapter 9

'Fuck it!' thinking to myself feeling my heart cracking as i fall from the top floor railing. I did this to him, hurt him so bad, he my sweet Blay would rather push me away than take my kiss. But of course he would, i have played tug-a-war with his and my heart for years now. I always knew how he felt, and living the fucked up life i have. i needed him to show me the affection he did. so i did whatever i could to get him to stay. no matter if it was fight with my shirt off, and feel his hot gaze down my body, or fuck even ball those girls in the bathroom with me so he could finally get sum without getting his own. We would only have sex with women together, i just couldn't bare the thought of him being touched by another men, and then him with women never made sense. such a self bastard, i know it. But even if i deny him, and myself there are still things i knew my head couldn't take.

Hmm i am still falling, jeez how far is this drop, my mind is too geared up to demat. My senses dulled, but i wait for the contact with the hard floor, maybe if i smash my skull then i wont have to think for a bit. Get some R&R is the OR. Sounds like a plan to me.

'Sir Qhuinn,' hearing and then inhaling the cinnamon scent, that fill my nostrils. Layla, i realize and judging by the sound of her voice she is right under me. Damn it, its always something. If i keep falling she could be really hurt by my weight falling on her. And there is already two people mortally wounded by my actions tonight. I flip over to catch myself with my hands, and sadly not my head. Pinning her under me. Her thin body just a tad softer than the marble, stops my fall as she cradled herself instantly. Pausing at the nausea that is rising in my throat at her touch, she takes the chance and grinds her sex against my not so hard package. i just cant seem to get hard these days, fuck who knew? My hands on either side of her face, her eyes are glazed and her scent bombards my nose, i think i will vomit in just a moment.

Everyone of my instincts are telling me to flee, me and her haven't been this close in almost a month. After that last night we spent together, the night Blay went to Sax...well anyways i don't even call her for feeding. Using whatever Chosen is visiting the house.

SHIT QHUINN! I can not believe i just pushed his ass over the rail, and 2nd i can not believe he let me. that defeated look in his eye right before he went over was heartbreaking. But that is the story of us, is it not? Running to the rail to look over it, i feel like i have just been suckered punched in the gut.

Baring my fangs, my bonding scent starts to show through the mix of cologne i am wearing and i growl. LAYLA, i do not normally speak ill of the fairer sex but that bitch! My instincts are to pounce, remove him from her thighs, than sink my fangs into his beautiful neck and mark him as MINE! But that word is what brings me back to reality, making me stop my scent from pouring out of my skin.

Before i can stop myself i speak. "Yeah its Guys like you Qhuinny!" i pour all of my hatered, and saddness into that statement. I see his body stiffen and he finally untangles himself from HER limps, the bastard could have at least waited til he got to his room! FUCK HIM! Sometimes you just have to cuss! My eyes are glowing i can feel it and he looks up at me.

"Blay..."

"Don't you Blay me, you don't have that right anymore!" i yell not caring that i am in the presents of a lady...well if i can even call her that. but i know it isn't fair of me to think these things of her. She is just like me, a victim of that male down there. He is just looking at me, with that sad puppy dog expression and i am happy to say that for once i am immune. "You know what Qhuinn," i say with a calm and coldness i have never heard from my voice. "Take care of yourself." Spinning off i stomp into my room, and slam my door.

Xhex hangs up the phone and walks into her mated room where her hellren is laying on the bed in nothing but his leathers. YUM YUM YUM, she nearly drools. He must have put those on when i went to talk on the phone.

Who was you talking to? he signs

"Saxton," was my one word response my mouth is watering watching the way his body flexes with every movement he makes. He is perfection.

'I did not know that you and him talked? he made a soundless growl, damn he was sexy.

Smiling, i should make him jealous. I love the bonded male in him, "from time to time, he isn't such a bad guy, and he handles some biz for me."

John instantly relaxes and signs "so what does he want?"

i laugh at his nonchalant jealousy. "funny enough, us. He was wondering if me and you would like to go out with him and Blay tomorrow night.' John's emotion go out of control, a part of him is happy for Blay, the other is worried about Qhuinn. 'JOHN, i think it will be fun." I try to reassure him, to attempt to ease his nerves.

'Will it make you happy to do this. You aren't really the social type' he signs.

Laughing out loud, i think sometimes he forgets about my other-side.

"john, i think this will be wonderful for Blay, he needs us right now. And even if he is your friend, you love him, so i do too."

John nodded, and agreed that it might be fun. His concern for his two best friend was written all over his body...Speaking of that body its been too long since it was inside me. Taking off my tshirt and throwing it at him, he catches it in mid-air as his scent bombards my nose. Being mated him was the best thing i could have ever done.

'Sir Qhuinn, where are you going,'" i say to the brooding male of my affection as he tries to stomps away. He turns around and the look he gives me shatter me. Its the look of a mad man, a man that has lost everything and makes me take a step back in fear of what he might do. I thought he loved me, the things me and him have shared. The wonderful thing he has taught me, we spent countless hours together, our bodies pressed together, moans i made, slight glows would leave his throat, setting my body on fire. Then one day, he stopped calling me, and ignoring my calls.

"Layla," his voice cracks saying my name like it was something nasty. "it is not your doing but i can not see you right now.'" he says so quiet and my heartbreaks...no it feels like it is being ripped out of my chest. I grasp at it, and look down expecting to see my heart beating on the floor.

"Sir, what have i done?" i ask, pleading, begging for him to answer me. Holding my breath his gaze never falters but he isn't looking at me as he answer, even though his eyes are locked on mine.

"It is not you Layla, as much as i tried it was never you." he says than runs up the stairs leaving me their in his wake, empty. Damn you Qhuinn.


	10. Chapter 10

**Well hello again good people and welcome back. ****i have a couple of ideas brewing, and even though i should be sleeping...I'm here typing away.****i hope you enjoy it!**

**Now Lady Babette, thanks for everything chica. you are so wonderful to me. love ya. Like seriously have no idea what i would do without u.**

**Btw i do not own anything of the BDB. They belong to the wonderful JR WARD**

Chapter 10

_With all do respects your highness i do not believe that is a good idea,_" Tohr translated to Wraith for John Mattews. It seems my boy couldn't catch a break. Tohr had ran into John it seem like for the first time since the mating, down in the kitchen. Course the kid wasn't their to visit me, he obviously just refueling after some tumble in the sheets with his Shellan, Lucky Bastard. But we got to talking, and i feel like i ruined everything for him. Always letting him down, i can tell he is unhappy by the slump of his shoulders and the darkness in his eyes. Why couldn't i just keep my big mouth shut

.

He was signing, i was responding to him with said mouth as we walked back to his room. The king's sharp hearing heard me tell my Son, (and yes he is my son) to have a good time and be safe. See him and his wife is doing some sorta double date with Blay and his lover, the too pretty to be a guy Saxton. I would never tell him that though. I don't judge but i don't feel comfortable telling any man they are pretty. Even if he has awesome hair, and pearl eyes. Catching myself rubbing my buzz cut maybe i should grow it out, let it flow like No'One remeb...you know what never mind on that thought. Too complicated, too soon, and my son is what matters at the moment.

Anyways, Wraith called us into this dainty room and asked what was doing all casual like he wasn't ease dropping. John, being John all noble, told him everything.

"OK have fun, but don't keep Qhuinn out too late, me and him have to have a talk about his attack on Butch last night." The King went to dismiss us and that is where we are.

"I smell the respect and fear in you John, it smells like burnt coffee. So please don't respect me too much," The King barked out laughing, draining the slight color that was left out of my sons cheeks. He glanced at me, and all i could do was shrug. Wraith has always been a strange bastard.

'_Sir, i do not think for everyone's sanity that Qhuinn join me, if there is any othe_r...' John sign but i didn't translate, i offered Wraith my own idea.

"Sir I will accompany my son and his friends tonight, leave the boy alone and offer him some piece of the heart sir. My Son speaks true, the male is unstable when it comes to Blaylock, and i can offer John protection for the evening." I do a slight bow in showing of respect. Wraith and I are friends, but i never forget he is my King first.

Wraith sighed and petted George, "Fine have it your way," he waved us off. "But the issues with the two males need to be worked on, and if Qhuinn can not complete his duties as Johns ahstrux nohtrum, than perhaps I should get V to mark through his tear."

This time i gasped not believing my ears, John paled out even more, signing how wonderful and great the boy is, but no respect to my son i answered again. "Man, you gotta be fuckin kiddin me man? Really Wraith are you forgetting what its like to be his age? The man has already lived a horrible half life and he is still in 20's. Give him a fuckin break!" I spew at the King.

All the bastard did was laugh, "True my brother, i will not be so harsh on him. But i will not have My Shellans Brother in-danger over possessiveness, and puppy love. You feel me."

I glance at John who was giving me a wide eye look, than back at the King who was sitting there looking like we was talking about what we was eating, not the honor of a young warrior. "Yeah I feel you."

"Than it is granted, for this evening you are in charge of Johns safety Tohrment don of Hharm." the king smiled and went back to his paper work, wordlessly dismissing us. What he didn't know is, I will always be in charge of my Sons safety. I vow to never let him down again, as long as i live, until i join his step mother in the Fade.

Bowing to the King and to John, i turn and leave to get some special toys from V.

"mmm so lover what are you wearing" Blay listen as Saxton purred over the phone causing him to stand at attention. Smiling crookedly he responded, "water droplets." Smiling even larger as he hears Sax cursing.

"I should have never thought to be a gentleman and pick you and your friends up! If i wasn't currently behind the wheel, or in this dodgy part of down, i would pull over and demat straight into your arms."

"But you can not do that, see i am up in my room, in front of well stocked closet, naked, the water dripping down my body. And you my darling could only demat to the front lawn." Blay chuckled, he loved playing with Sax like this. It was fun, and natural. Sax had a great sense of humor when he wasn't trying to out snob a person, and the man was just that male, Blay knew what to say to get him going.

"Like bloody hell i cant. Oh my warrior where there is a will, there is away, and i am quite parched and need some of that H2O you are currently wasting it letting it fall down your body to the floor."

Blay was rock hard at the images Sax just put there. "well once you get here i can always throw a glass of water on me."

Saxton busted out laughing over the phone, "Oh my Blaylock, i shall see you soon. You have made it rather difficult for me to drive, and concentrate on the road. You just be sure to be nice and wet when i get there."

Blay smiled even bigger, as if it was possible, his face was aching, "But Xhex and John will be waiting, and it is rude to keep our friends waiting, isn't that correct Saxton."

"Touche Warrior," Blay listen to his breathing, "I shall see you soon."

"I can not wait, good bye Saxton." Then Blay hung the phone up laying it down on the dresser with his cologne. Looking at the bottles he lined up, he was trying to make the right choices. If anyone knew how to smell good, it was most certainly him, Blay thought. Since his transition he has been masking his bonding scent with different once. Learning that if he mixed them the scent was hardly noticeable to him. The Brothers and even Sax has given him hell over all of the different brand he owned. He had the basics that no male should ever live with out like, Burberry Touch For Men, Kenneth Cole Black, and the New York, but tonight it will just be the Armani Black Code.

"Not sure why company's seem to think it makes a scent masculine to be named Black," he smiled again releasing he was was talking to himself. Then he frown, it was times like this, he wished his best friend was right here listening to him as he got ready for his date. "I miss that." he spoke to himself allowing himself just a moment to remember and miss things between him and Qhuinn before he shut his mind down to the male. Tonight was about having fun, being with his Lover and his friends. This had nothing to do with Qhuinn, and Blay couldn't think the Scribe Virgin more for that at the moment.

"yo V," I waved in front of his face. Sometimes a man, or wait I'm a vampire, yeah sometimes i forget. But its still the same. Here we was sittin back enjoyin some ESPN time, just the two of us. Our ole ladies was off at Safe Place, and i have to admit i enjoy the few hours on our nights off when its just us. Not that i don't enjoy the TLC i get when i suck the life outta the Lessers and get some hand action, but damn that is some foul shit, and i hate that is the only time V will touch me.

I sound like a damn female, oh we don't spend anytime together, oh he don't talk to me, oh cry me a mother effin river. I just miss us. I know he is in love with me, or so he says, but i don't care. I love him too, in a way i never have for another man. But i have my shellan and he has his. So where does that leave us. Everyone has to feel the tension, and see the stares. Gah i hate how honest with myself i am when he is living one of his visions.

"Im not as out of it as you think," V's husky voice makes me shiver and i look up at the diamond stare feeling happiness, excitement, love, some lust, and then shame. DAMN IT! "Stop your thoughts cop, before it gets us in trouble, divorce is something they only do in England." he smiles at me as he stands up and heads to the kitchen. Damn him for quoting my other secret obsession next to him, Ever-After with Drew Barrymore.

"Like i would waste my time thinking about you," I shout back to him, not even looking his way. Quick as lightening V flashed from the kitchen fridge to right in front of be, pinning me down on the couch. His heavy body in-between my legs stretching me, but not in an uncomfortable way. His nose skims my vein and my fangs bare, as i arch under his weight. God this feels, and just so right.

"So natural," he whispers in my ear. "For me to be like this with you." his voice cracking with those words. I couldn't speak as his gloved hand started to rub my thigh, making me stand up for him.

God breathing in Butch's scent, his vein just a few cm away, all it would take is one strike and i will taste heaven. To have his blood feel my mouth, and know that i am giving him pleasure, that would be well worth the divorce. I can not take it anymore leaning my head away still having my body pressed against his, i know i am not the only one hard as granite. i look into his eyes. Its like a tunnel straight to his mind. It is open to me now more than any other time, like watching a movie. I can see and feel all, as if i was sympath. Knowing my crazy ass mother, she prolly gave me that 'gift' too. But there it is, the love he has for me, more than a friend, less than Marissa, and jeez i thought i was possessive. I see his instinct to pounce when Rhage pinned me other night. I see the jealousy and self loathing in his mind when he sees me and Jane. Man i see it. Its like looking through my thoughts. But what makes me stop is i see his fear of losing his Marrissa and that isn't something i could live with myself if he lost.

OH MY GOD! that was one of the sexiest most violating things that ever happen to me, Butch thought, just as V got up breaking the contact and the all Butch and V sitcom that just played out for him to see. I should really be ashamed of myself knowing that he just seen how i felt about EVERYTHING. But all i can think about is how It feels strange i miss the warmth his body just gave me, gah why am i such a freak?

"You aren't, but i cant, we cant. We have made our choices, our paths are clear." V said, and all i could do was look at his back. He wouldn't face me, and maybe that was a good thing. How can i do this to Marrissa, if she was like this with anyone i would rip the other persons head off. But...But...But i just don't know, if she was in as much pain as i am now...would i understand?

"Vishious, we need to talk about us, we need..."

"Not now, Tohr is almost here, and i have bad news for our Brother. We will deal with this another time..."

Is it terrible of me to say a piece of my heart broke off when he said 'this' and not 'us'. Damn me for being born attracted to women.

'BANG BANG BANG' "My Brother let me in." yelled Tohr from the other side.

"Doors open fucker," V responded sitting in the chair far away from me. Not going to lie that stung too. Tohr pushed open the door, took in the two of us and stopped. "Who died?"

"Vutch." V responded before i could even open my mouth to answer no one. But damn that stung too.

"Butch is right there!" Tohr pointed then shrug. He obviously didn't get the V in that. So V had a name for us, and according to him it just died.

"I am here, alive and well. Well part of me, but I'm going to take off go talk to my god. Its been a long time since me and him have had some face to face time."

"Good thing," Tohr responded. "I wouldn't be too happy if i had to talk to that mug all the time, either."

All of us laugh, but V sent me one last look, that burn right through me, making me shiver. "Not all of share his views." Was his last comment before i walked out the door demating to the nearest house of god, damn the domination.

"So my Brother i know why you are here," V finally spoke up after that uncomfortable parting with his Butch. I didn't know what was up with them two, it was never my biz. But oh V almost had Butch in a trance with that last look he gave him. I felt like i was intruding.

"And what is that my Brother."

"you are trying your damnest to mess with fate, even if you don't know it and your intentions are good."

I finally made it, after calling that darkly beautiful brother Vishious 4 different times for him to release his mhis for just a moment just to get too the damn mansion. Damn this whole wanting to be normal and driving to pick up my warrior and his friends. Well i guess the butch Xhex is my friend too. But talking to him on the way has put a bulge in my jeans. Yes i am wearing jeans, Blaylock is in need of some fun. As much as he enjoys the plays, orchestras, and operas we attend i know a piece of him longs for just a fun night out without an intermission. So that is what i am going to give him, instructed him to dress down for the occasion.

Pulling my silver 2009 Infiniti QX56 up to the front, i think it is time for me to get a new car, I smile yet again as i pull out my phone to dial my warrior.

"I am here Lover,"

"Be down in a second," he responded. Closing my eyes i can see him now, red hair tastefully done, beautiful wide blue eyes, doing the last look before coming down the stairs and out the door.

-smack- "Yo! Dream lover, you going to let us in," Xhex said after hitting the top of my SUV. My daydream must have really gotten to me to not notice. Opening the door to step out, i open the back door for my guest. "My apologies my lady'" bowing to the female wearing leathers and a muscle tshirt. Some lady.

"Hey fucker," she gently smacks my shoulder. Her hellren cocks his eyebrow at me before turning around at his name being called. the big Brother Tohrment was running up to him quickly signing, John and him was having a conversation and Xhex looked shocked. But i couldn't be bothered with any of that as the male who hold my affections comes out of the front door. Without even a second thought i walk up to him.

"Good evening Warrior," i seductively smile looking into his eyes before they travel down that sinful body. MMMM what is man to do. Blaylock was wearing a green and brown Rugby polo with a pink oxford under it, collar popped and untuck, with some light wash jeans. The shirt clinging in all the right places, and i can not help to think that those clothes would look even better on my floor.

"I am not a warrior," Blaylock said blushing then pulling me in for small kiss in greeting.

"Oh, dear Blaylock, you are my Warrior," i say after i can think, smiling taking his hand, and walking him to his waiting friends. "You look handsome." He blushes that beautiful scarlet again. thank the scribe Virgin for gingers!

"Thank you Sax, you look pretty edible yourself."

"Fell free to taste me anytime," I whisper before John sign something to Blay.

"I am really sorry." the big Brother said to John, than looked at me. Blay paled out, and swallowed very loudly.

I looked at John who looked pissed, even Xhex was pacing. Blaylock looked shell shocked, and the Brother looked guilty.

"sorry for what?" i finally asked.

"Im ready when you are," i heard the voice from nightmares, making me and Blaylock jump. "Lets get this show on the road." he said walking in all black passed me and getting into MY vehicle. His lip ring shining through my tinted windows. Qhuinn.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hiya everyone. Thanks for reading. Here is the next part.**

**lady babette mucho love sister mine, this is for you. :)**

**You inspired me to wake my ass up and write an update before i went to work. I really want to get to the other stuff so i needed to hurry. Anyhoo, loved it,and hopefully you do too.**

Chapter 11

I cant believe this mother fuckin shit! the Scribe Virgin can go fuck herself! There i was lounging in my room, hating my life, ignoring the happenin in the manse. Had Jack in my hand and NIN blaring in my ears. Life was fuckin peachy keen! Then V has to waltz his ass in my sanctuary and fuck my shit up! So now, fuck my life, i am sitting in the back seat of my cousins SUV, as he takes the love of my life out on a double date with my best friend. HEY SCRIBE VIRGIN CAN YOU HEAR MY THOUGHTS...THIS IS BULLSHIT!

"Shut up Qhuinn," Xhex whispers after she nudges in my ribs. Bloody Sin-Eater!

"Yo Sax, you really going to make me listen to this crap?" I ask just to get Xhex off of me. I am sitting behind my sweet wonderful SLUT cousin, looking over at Blay i see his jaw clenched and his cheeks are darker. great i am embarrassing him. But i am dying here!

"Cousin of mine, what would you preferred. I have Sade, Gregory and The Hawks, muse, yellowcard, the killers, really anything dear cousin tell me what you would like. What i could possibly play to not offend thy ears." the smug bastard said to me giving me sarcastic eyes in the rear view mirror.

"I don't really give a damn, Blay what type of music you have when you are in Saxton, his car that is." the words come out of my mouth like poison and i know i am being a dick. I see him stiffen up, sweat is starting to form on his forehead, and his neck is the same shade as his cheeks. John hits me in the back of my head.

'_What the fuck is your problem, he is your best friend and you are making this really hard on him_.' he sign.

Well damn, what can a man say or sign to that. Telling people how i feel doesn't get me anywhere, fighting how i feel knocks me back, what do i say. that i am so sorry and it is pleasure to be here, that it is taking all of my strength to not rip my cousins throat out, that i want nothing more than claim the man sitting just a few feet away as MINE? No, i can not say these things.

'_i will sto_p' i sign back. Closing my eyes, sitting back in the seat, i feel all of the tension i have cause, i am fucking this up for all of them. Worse i am hurting Blaylock.

"hey Sax," saying it calmer. "do you still have that 90's alternative mix we used to rock out too when we was younger."

Saxton didn't anything at first but grabbed his iphone and scrolled down a list while driving. Classic, the lawman a lawbreaker, i smile to myself. "Of course Qhuinn. Brings back good memories with you and I," he says before hitting play on Possum Kingdom by The Toadies, my favorite song, he remembers.

Hey Scribe Virgin, I'm sorry K?

~~~~~~~LF~~~~~~

"So Blaylock," i smile yet again. Despite my jealous cousin and his out burst i am tickled pink to be sitting so close to my Warrior. "You still pondering where we are headed for tonights festivities?"

He rewards me by busting out laughing. "Saxton, i fear i have given up trying to figure you out. After the first couple of weeks I just learn to go with it."

"Why do you say such a thing Mr. Rocke?" cocking my freshly tweezed eyebrow to wards my lover.

Cocking his right back at me, slightly turning to wards me smiling. Dear Virgin he is gorgeous. "Since you surprised me a few weeks ago taking me to see Rupaul?" he laughs again.

My cheeks nearly match his, as he outs me in front of his friends, i see John Matthews big body shaking as he silently laughs, and Xhex is not covering her smirk!

"Oh shush you, Rupaul is FIERCE! You vampires hear me, she is a wonderful entertainer and great role model for the gay and lesbian community!" I blush even deeper, as Blaylock and Qhuinn bark out laughing at me. Great its terrible when THEY agree on something.

"How about the Twilight Convention, the week after?" My SUV shakes uncontrollably as all of my over sized, over muscled passengers laugh at my expense. But the genuine smile on my warriors face, makes it all worth it.

"well Blaylock, i am sorry i made you suffer like i did, even though i do believe it was you running up to Taylor Launter, saying and i quote 'you are one of the only characters i believe that casted adequately,' end quote, Mr. Rocke." i nudge my lover.

"its true, you read them books, come Robert Pattinson, Cedric digory as Edward Cullen, that is just crazy!" he smiles at me winking. I love this playful side of him., It is funny is it not, these larger than life real vampires, joking and even being fans of human versions of our species.

"Blay, i personally imagine Gaspard Ulliel," my dark brooding cousin answered, making Blaylock turn and full acknowledge his presence for the first time.

"You read Twilight?" he asked Qhuinn. My cousin breath caught in his throat, and damn it if it didn't make my fangs bare! but i could not blame, Blaylock was everything any male of worth would want.

Catching himself, i suppose, he answered. "those damn books have been on your book shelf for years, i get bored too!" he shrugged than started to lip sync to 'father of Mine' by Ever Clear, frowning if anyone understood those lyrics it was him.

~~~~~LF~~~~~~

I drive down the empty Caldwell streets looking for my salvations. How silly i was to forget that i cant demat! Stupid being born human! Caldwell is looking bare, and that sick feeling i get when Lessers are around isn't acting out. so there is no distraction. I got ole school Korn blasting "faget' screaming in my ears, as i am on my way to confess my sins. Isn't it ironic, dontcha think?

Finally reaching the shitty end of town, with the beautiful St. Martin looming just a head. Its breath taking really, with its double Gothic towers, and whatever i don't know architecture. But you don't have to be one to know that it is a beauty. Parking the SUV in the front i hope out, my natural habits of scanning the area for anyone.

Nope no one, just a few of the faithful inside praying over the body and blood. The father, with his rosary beads dangling is walking down the pews to stop just in front of one of the remains of a saint. True story, we have some remains of glorious folks that reached saint hood. HEH i bet they was never in love with their best friend. But that really doesn't matter. I am what i am, accept me or not.

I palm my keys than put them in my sweat pants pocket before walking. Seeing the large baptismal font pour water, i want nothing more than to bathe in the blessed water, to cleanse me of all of my dirtiness. But that would certainly be frown upon. So i dip my fingers in there with my unclean hand, then making the sign of the cross before i walk to the third pew on the far right. Its been so long since i have been here. Bowing my head, i say 'the Nicene creed' in my mind. Than feeling guilty that i don't just believe in father and son but also the Scribe Virgin. Hopefully they will forgive me.

Damn it church always made me feel better, not worse, but i guess that my hear is filled with such guilt that i can not help but to feel this way.

Bowing my head even lower, i stop saying the written prayers and just start lightly talking. 'help me' the words echo around the church and i am embarrassed when the father, a young one at that walks up to me.

"my son, how may i help you?" Turning i look at the gentle man with his upturn palm, black robes, white collar, and beads swinging from everywhere. I think, what if i told him that i am in love with a man, and i am married to woman. i would be shown to the mother fuckin door before my ass could say hail Mary. hell what if i said, 'hey i used to be human, but now I'm a vampire?' i would be excommunicated, before i could even beg for forgiveness.

"Thank you," i say standing up taking his hand. "I just need someone to listen, and not judge me." saying with an open earnest heart.

He smiles at me, his brown eyes twinkling, "despite the rumors, some of us born after the 1960's offer not just guidance and ridicule. we offer our ears and our hearts. Come with me my son, let me try to ease your heart."

Letting the youthful father walk me to confessional, i decide right then to tell him everything, listen to what he says, naturally wipe his memory clean, and focus on my life that i have now.

Feeling better i push the velvet curtain to the side and take my seat.

~~~~~~LF~~~~~~

"this ain't your biz" saying as pour a shot or seven of goose in my cup, glancing over my shoulder as my mother pops into my living room. Piece and quiet i never get that anymore. sometimes i miss the days when the brotherhood stayed in separate places. i take that back no i don't, but a break from everyone would be a nice welcome. Get the King off my back, get Qhuinn and Blay out of my visions, and Butch outta my heart.

"i am sorry son of mine, be he is there forever, i fear."

Turning around i raise my voice to her. "what do you fear, NOTHING MOTHER MINE! it is i who walks around with a heart so heavy i feel like i shall fall over from the burden! it is I that worries about my brothers and now Sister," glaring at her for that one, we still haven't had it out for her keeping Payne from me " It is i that has to make sure that not just for mine sake, but others that i must stay alive at all cost, or Butch and the Brothers are finished. So mother what is it you fear?" i ask feeling better as i sit down in the middle of the couch.

" all that you say, my son. Every word i feel your anger, and your sorrow. You have made a feeble-minded simpleton out of me. Never once have i ever wanted to utter these words but son of mine i am sorry." she says hovering in front of me. She forgets she has already said she is sorry.

"what may i help you with Mom?" i ask taking a large gulp of my goose.

"Your sorrow just cried out to me, so i came. that is all."

Downing what is left in my glass, then looking at it not believing its already drained, "mother i am fine, i am here, i am living."

"No my son, you are not living, you existing. There is a difference. i created you, so i know what i am speaking."

"Well how about you save me the trouble of feeling and you just tell me what it is you want me to say or do?" standing up turning my back to her to pour me another glass.

"I have given you your wife,"

"TELL ME THIS NOT! FOR I ALREADY KNOW AND AM GRATEFUL!" i yell crushing the glass into sand at her words. How dare she bring my Jane up.

She ignored my outburst and continued on. "i have made it to where you have the best of both worlds as they say, tying you to your Butch. So you have what you want, i fear my son that you are making ALL of your gifts a burden. Do not mourn that which was bless-fully given." It didn't escape my notice the ALL, looking at my hand that i always hated, i sigh turning around.

"I'm sorry mom." looking up to empty space. "Well damn. So much for that." Turning around i jump out of my skin as she is there, her veil off, seeing me and Payne in her flawless features. She is so beautiful, i long to hold her, embrace my mother.

Opening her arms, "Come here my son, forgive me for my sins, and i shall forgive you for yours." It is a automatic thing, i take the three strides and embrace her. Closing my eyes against the tear, i feel her, not her body, but her sorrow and her love for all the vampires, for humans, for her brother the omega, and then her love for me and Payne. Its easy to hate something, when you are ignorant of all of it.

"No offspring of mine, is ignorant Son of Mine. Embrace your gifts, embrace me, listen to your king, your Brothers, your female, and son..." she broke off.

Pulling away from her arms to look at the larger than life deity whom i share my blood with. "yes?"

Her arms slowly pulling her veil back over her head, her glow turning back on. "Embrace your male, my son. Love him as you would want. It is natural for you, and i bless it so."

Then with that she popped out of my living room leaving me with an enlighten but still confused heart.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello everybody, new and old. Welcome back to the world I play in. Anyhoo I have something's I am trying to get too. But to get these parts...we gotta get to it**

**So here is the next chapter.**

**Anyways in the next few updates, I will be posting links to youtube videos of the songs I mention. I know this is goofy but I would like for everyone to click on them as they come up. Please not before. I do ask that you listen to the song, and hear the words. I think that it is important. Of course you do not have too. I will be posting some of the lyrics into the story so everyone will get the jest of it! anyhoo thanks.**

**Amanda, chica seriously you rock! I have no mother hubbard idea I would make such an awesome friend.**

**Chapter 12**

"you gotta be kidding me?" Blaylock busted out laughing as I pull into our destination.

"Dear Blaylock, why do you think I jest. You always beating my behind in the Play station game, I figured I would take you to the real thing." Smiling back at my Warrior as I pull into Akikos, a small but hip, dear Virgin did I just think hip. Anyhoo its a karaoke bar. Me and Mr.. Rocke has played that damn Sing song so many times, and everytime he wins. Bloody good voice he has, where I can barely carry a tune in a bucket, with the lid on tight!

"you're the best Saxton." My Warrior ginned before leaning over and lightly kissing my lips in front of everyone before I could even park my car. My smile is huge, my happiness is showing. He kissed me, like he has a million times before, but never in public. I always thought Mr.. Rocke was against PDA. I wanted to gobble him up, but he chuckled at me before getting out of the car. Still I sat there grinning like a mad man, one hand on my lips.

"Park the fuckin car," Qhuinn brought me back to reality. It seems he didn't hop out when everyone else did. Too bad, I really did not want to have a row with my cousin, not about OUR Blaylock.

"My apologies again, Cousin Mine."

"Yeah, what the fuck-ever." he spat at me from the backseat, his knees suddenly digging into my back.

"What did I do now?" I ask looking at him glaring at me from the backseat, this mis-matched eyes burning a hole through me.

Throwing his hands up in the air, then balling them into fist as he clenches his jaw. "No Sax, you did nothing wrong. Just park the damn car so we can go in."

Eff this, my cousin has put me and worse Blaylock through hell, I will not let him ruin this evening. It is not our fault he is here. "Listen to me Cousin of Mine," taking off my seat belt before turning to face him in my seat. His stare is deadly but I love this male too, like hell, just like hell..."If you have something you want to say than you do it now! Because I will not have you ruin this evening for me or for Blaylock. That male you threw away, and everyday you put him in hell for years. Which he was okay with, until YOU OUTTED HIM! He was perfectly fine if you never knew his feelings, but do you remember dear cousin that it was YOU who told him you knew about his feelings?" I pause letting my words sink into his thick skull. Stepping over my boundaries, something I never do, but this was a must. Not expecting a response I was about to continue.

"Yes, I know it was me. One of the worst moments of my life hurting him like that. He had no idea I knew. But I have always known." he says in barely a whisper, but I will not feel sorry for him this evening.

"He told me everything Cousin, and I mean everything. About the two kisses, about him almost canceling on me if you would have just said the magic words. About how you watch him as you fuck countless females. Do you know what that does to that male, have you any idea the damages it does...do You.."

"ENOUGH!" he screamed baring fangs. "I am a bastard I know it. I hurt him, I FUCKIN KNOW IT. I PUSHED HIM INTO ANOTHER MANS ARMS AND THERE ISNT SHIT I CAN DO ABOUT IT. I FUCKIN KNOW!"

Leaning away from his voice and breath that is blowing in my face, I can not believe I just went off on him like that, and I can't believe he didn't rip my throat out. Clearing my voice, swallowing my guilt at the pain that is clearly on his face. If I have any family loyalties I would end things with My Warrior, but he already has my heart, and sometimes we all need to be a tad selfish. "Well dear cousin, this is all I ask. For one night." I close my eyes, not wanting to be THAT gay guy, the one that gets weepy. "Please let me and him have this night before you try your best to ruin us." My voice cracked at that. A man in love isn't something to mess with, but a warrior such as my cousin is deadly. These feelings for Blaylock he has been fighting, are just below the surface, and once they are out I fear I will lose my Warrior, for good.

I feel strong arms wrap around me and pull me from the front seat to the back. A large body holding me like a child, and realize I am that weepy guy. But not because I am gay, because I am a man madly and fully in love, with someone who is only leasing their heart.

~~~~~LF~~~~~

"I wonder what is taking Saxton so long," smiling as I down some of my PBR, as I lean against the bar counter top taking in the scene. The place was small by club standards, but it had plenty of bodies. The stage had two tools, and two mics, and was about one foot off the ground. Plenty of chairs and tables filled with people. It was good to see a healthy mix of folk that wasn't messed up on some drugs, or just trying to get laid. There was lovely ladies all around, some college guys hanging in the back, most of them white smaller then me, John, and Qhuinn, hell I think Xhex was bigger than them, wearing their trademark I am the shit clothing, tshirt, jeans, and a hat with a bent bill. Humans, never really got some of things they did to impress ladies, or in a few of the guys eyeing John, men in their lives.

"ALRIGHT BITCHES GET UP!" I hear a drunken porcelain skin female shout through the mic. One look and I couldn't help but to smile. Her build was more like my mothers than the other women I am used to seeing. She was a very round female, with Betty Page style brown hair, black Hanson tshirt, the logo stretch by her generous bust, wide hips and but a youthful beautiful heart-shaped face, that was pretty pink from the number of drinks she obviously consumed. It was nice to see a female, rounded and smiling with a glow. Than drugged out ones at the other clubs I have been friend a lovely obviously biracial female in a hello kitty toboggan was pulling her off the stage. But not doing a very good job, mind you. Chuckling again, the announcer comes over the PA' "Lisa you are in two songs, wait your turn." You can hear his smile, and see hers. Not really sure why this brought me happiness, but it did. Lisa still had a death grip on the mic, when the guy came over the pa again. "Lisa Marie, if you do not hand over the Mike, the Davis is not going to sing THE SONG, and you know which song it is!"

The plump female, obviously pouting finally hands the mic over to some scrawny female, with blond hair, and too much make up. Now that was the type of female I would see at NYX OR THE iron mask. Smiling again I can smell the fear coming off of the smaller female. The female starts singing a not so amazing song and I loose interest.

Scanning the crowd again, I see Lisa and her lovely friend has join a table with other lovely, not twiggy women. The jocks watching them, ridicule all over their faces. It gets my blood boiling, the smile is gone.

_'what doing man, why you growl_?' John signed to me. Him and Xhex scanning the crowd themselves. Expecting Lessers to come waltzing out of the bathroom or something. I point over to the table full of once attractive men, now they are swine. 'so what's up?' he cocked his eyebrow.

Shaking my head I take another drink. "the guy over there in the orange Texas A&M shirt," I point. Xhex and John follows with their own eyes.

"Yeah I see." she says, but John still looked confused.

"He is making fun of the female with brown hair because of her weight, when he knows she is in ear shot. He is trash."

_'That isn't cool that guy is a dick, but why do you care_?' John sign, he meant well and I could smell the disgust for the human male, but it was just something he would never understand.

"My Mother as you know, is a large lady, and even though she is proud, smart, beautiful. The Gylmera ridiculed her, and she would sit there and wouldn't flinch, than go home and cry to my father. Thanking the Scribe Virgin I was male and not female, so she wouldn't pass her 'fat' genes to me." I say really fast, my blood is boiling at this point and I want to show those assholes what's up. "No female should ever be ashamed of who she is and what she looks like. Just because she doesn't match how others feel she should.." I finish drinking the rest of my beer, staring the assholes down, begging the SV to have one of them look at me funny!

" _damn bro, I get it. You want us to go over and start some shit_?' John replied, looking over his female with her muscle tee and short hair.

"Want me to go make the bastard relive his worst memory," Xhex eyes flashed red, knocking some sense into me. Who was I to play hero. The female didn't see too upset, actually her smile was large and warm. All of her friends surrounded her giggling and just having a good ole time. I should just leave things alone.

"Who you staring at?" I feel arms wrap around my waist pulling me snuggly against my male.

"mmmm, baby you feel good." I cooed at the embrace, relaxing fully into him.

Whispering in my ear, then licking my lobe. "You didn't answer me."

"Thinking about beating up some human trash that is all?" I answer turning around facing him til we are nose to nose. "But the trash doesn't matter lets get a drink." The concern look on Saxtons face was priceless, violence is not a normal part of his life. I don't think the male has killed anything, ever! Taking alot of my energy to not bust out laughing, I dip down capturing his smooth soft lips. God this male brings out a different side of me. Saxton is not weak, or meek by anymeans. But when we are like this, embracing, touching, kissing, I want to protect him from the world. From the snide comments that I can hear the jocks make, or the sharp intake of breath someone just did. Most likely a bible thumper. But none of that matters when his lips are touching mine, and I forget for just a moment that the world isn't right.

~~~~~~LF~~~~~~

After that extremely sexy kiss my warrior gave me, it took moments to come back down to earth. My poor little head was swimming, and a certain part of body was swollen needing to calm down its self. "Well my fierce Warrior. If fighting brings out this type of passion out of you, than I shall learn to start some fights behind close doors. Than you can punish me by anymeans necessary!" Winking at my boyfriend, than nudging him away I turn to get a...sighs..It Seems all they have is beer. Nothing fancy, just the plain ole beer.

"Try the Pabst Blue Ribbon, its great." Blaylock whispers in my ears making me shiver all over again. His strong arms are either side of me, holding me, possessing me. He is a dominate male after all.

"Warrior, you have great taste, I shall trust you. If this drink is unpleasant to my tongue. I shall punish you, by anymeans." responding, slightly arching my back to rub myself against his swollen manhood safety tucked away in his jeans. Hearing him growl, I tell the small Asian female I want the beer. Breathing in deep, I get a yummy but familiar scent. It smells of rich spices, familiar and yet I can not for the life of me place it. Shrugging it off, I grab my Blaylock hand taking him to a table John and Xhex is waiting.

Looking around for my dear cousin, he is nowhere insight, but after having the talk in the car. I doubt he really wants to see me. I know how hard this must be for him, his expression in his eyes give him away everytime. The eyes do not lie. But tonight is about making my lover happy. So I sit her, leaning against his hard body, snuggling into his warmth, surrounded by him, his friends, in his environment, with a human female singing some sappy country song about fruit flavored wine. Very different than my own, and I must admit I am the happiest I have been in a long time.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

**Welcome for those of you who are new!**

**Lady Babette hun I'm trying. i know you are going through a tough time...maybe this might make you feel better.**

**This one does have a youtube link! Please go to it so you can hear the song ;p Thanks everyone. if only the bottom half half of the link shows up, it is just youtube.**

"hey there stranger," whispering into the gaged ear of the plus size beauty in front of me. Turning around her deep eyes lock on to my deformed ones..

"Well hello," she smiles back with her red painted lips, a sex look on her face. "haven't seen you since what, yesterday?" Arching her right pierced eyebrow. Laughing at her making fun of me, its always fun when the ladies wanna take you on.

Watching Blay and Sax has got me wired. They are so damn perfect for each other. how stupid was I to ever believe i could give him what he thinks he wants. Blaylock prolly doesn't even notice how he protects the slut bastard, orbiting each other, like Sax is his personal sun! Damn it, i think i just quote Twilight. I have to get them outta my head and stop reliving all those slight touches they exchange without shame. How the entire night they have been snuggled up to each other. Is this how they act in public, thank god i can ignore them in private.

"Glad i could amuse you,' she cooed again leaning into me. I cant help but take a look at her amazing tits stretching the logo of her shirt. All large, pushed up in a black lace bra, her skin had a creamy tint, and i knew they would be soft to the touch. Smiling as i see her necklace for the first time, Silver vampire grill. this chick rocked."My eyes are up here." she says nudging me with her lush hips.

"sorry, just noticed your necklace," I say touching the cool chain, but really just an excuse to graze those amazing tits. I was correct, soft and yummy. Wouldn't mind sinking my fangs into them.

"Yeah, what can i say, i am a vampire girl." looking deep into my eyes again she doesn't flinch, doesn't make a face of disgust, or admiration. She just looks at me. Smiling again trying not to show off my own set of fangs.

"Oh really now." Leaning down to her ear, "So what if i was your vampire?" This time my pride took a hit as she busted out laughing IN MY FACE! Harsh.

"Really? Did you seriously just quote Marilyn Manson to me?" she slightly punches my chest.

Not really so sure of myself, bloody female! Why isn't she swooning, not that i am conceited, The SV knows i think very little of myself, but most human females, when i give them a look, or a whisper or the slightest of touch, they are on their knees, my dick scraping the back of their throats. but not this chick! Finally realizing i haven't answered her question, "maybe i did?" I smile.

"Well thank you smexy, but i don't think my wife would approve," she smiles brilliant to me, taking a sip of her beer, my mind processes what she just said.

"WIFE?" i say a lil too loud. Two girls, that should be fun. Like not two straight girls that are down to fuck cuz they want the guy, but two real life, tree hugging, animal rights, black thumb lesbian.

"I see that look, mister, and sorry you are most def barking up the wrong tree. Which i do not hug by the way, and my garden is like me and my wife lush and plenty!" she pretend to be offended. I know my face gave something away as she still smiled at me. How the fuck did she know what i was thinking. Inhaling her scent again, it smells mostly of human, but than there is something else there, not quite sure but...

"Did i hear someone call for me," A beautiful biracial girl with long black hair parted into two big pigtail plats hanging half way down her back. She had a smaller body than Lisa, curvy at the bottom, but her brilliant teeth caught me off guard like her high pitched voice. Her scent was different too, less human on her end. This isn't right, something is off here. Lisa took my left hand, holding tight, turning me to look at her and her wife.

"Lush, meet Qhuinn. Qhuinn, meet my wife." The darker girl took my right hand to say hello, meeting my eyes. I am not sure what happen, but the rest of the world fell away, turning black. there was no light, no shades of gray, just darkness. I can still feel the girl holding my hands, but she and the entire bar is just gone. I am not falling, its as if someone just cut off all the lights. But now i can not hear anyone.

"Where am I?' I scream, still clutching on to a hands that i can no longer see. But i feel the two gently rubbing lopsided circles in my palms, i can hear them now. It almost sounds like a chant in the old language, but really that cant be. Maybe i am nuts, going insane, hell i cant remember the last time i fed, or Sweet Scribe Virgin i am blind.

"_No, I fear you are not blind. But if you are ever to see more than the shades of gray you know. I shall advise you son of mine that you follow the path that heart of yours has taken you_."

Looking around for the voice, "Mom?" i say out loud. It did sound like my mother, but at the same time did not. No longer feeling the hand, i blindly feel around trying to touch something solid, and feeling a wall, by the texture alone it feels like marble.

"Mom, Where am I, and who are you really?" I ask into the darkness. There is no way it would be my mother, she is dead, they are all dead and not one of them ever gave a damn about me.

"**_No questions, for I have given you answers before_**." The voice of the female, came and left, sounding sorta pissed off. Light suddenly appear blinding me for real, and I see where i am.

I have been here before, but where? Its so familiar. A long corridor with a door at the end...to the end. the fade. "Oh Scribe Virgin what has happen why am i here? Was women really the death of me? I guess its better than having to watch the love of my life in my cousins arms for the next 900 years." sounding bitter.

With no response, not like i am expecting one since i know where i am. i walk to the door, looking back i see a solid wall behind me. Pushing on it, it pushes forward. Just fuckin great, there is no back only forward. The handle is calling my name, and i have been here, i remember opening that door and expecting my death, but instead there was...OH FUCK! Rushing with all of my might i Open the door, and for the second time in my entire life i see, real red hair, and real blue eyes, and real white crooked smile. "I have been waiting for you." the man says, and i fall to the floor and back into blackness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LF~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"we have an amazing drug rehab and support group here at the church, my son." hearing the fathers sympathetic voice makes me want to break something. I told him everything, about me, Beth, The Brothers, V, the transition, V, Marissa, the Omega, and V. Clearly he thought my entire confession was bogus! Well doesn't this suck."I fear, father i am in need of none of these! but I thank you very much. Stepping out, looking at the beautiful painted ceiling, the beautiful altar, the resting place of the saints. Then of course the life size statues of the chosen ones, around the church. Goin to be real, here i am a grown ass man, and them things still give me the creeps. Waiting patiently, i hear the young priest take his leave, hurrying to catch his gaze as he pulls the curtain open.

"I was never here, you have been walking around the church for the last 30 minutes. You will forget me after you close your eyes, then open them 5 seconds later.

Quickly covering his memory, hoping the guy doesn't have nightmares or a headache. i hall ass to the SUV, jumping in and gettin the hell outta dodge!

"should have been s fuckin Buddhist!" turning up the radio as i make my way back to the manse, needing to get this shit with V out in the open.

**_buzzz buzzz buzzz_** feeling my phone going off in my leather, i pick it up already knowing who it is.

"come home, we will talk about it." i hear the voice say, but i am still hurt by his words.

"I am 30 minutes away, see you in 10."

"be careful," was the bastards parting words as he hung up.

"Fuckin Bastard."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LF~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'_Don't be Jealous of my boog_ie,' singing to myself emptying my bladder in one of the urinals. Tonight has been a blast. All of us dancing to the Time Warp, Me and Sax kissing and just being comfortable. Even the look on the jocks face when Qhuinn asked the plus size beauty to dance, then he stayed over there with her talking and flirting, it was priceless. I couldn't even be mad, i was here with Saxton having a great time, and the beautiful woman deserved a beautiful time. I just hope the lust in his eyes doesn't seduce her hipsters off, she seems like a respectful female and i wish her the best. Washing my hands, feeling the drinks i take a gander at my reflection.

"Lookin for me Pumpkin?" Qhuinns reflections says boring his eyes through me. He coming out of the only stall.

"No, I seen you. You enjoying yourself?" he looked puzzled, and his color was a little off. "With the female?" i ask, him still looking confused, hell he must be drunk. "There isn't an easy way to say this without sounding jealous, but be nice to the female. She seems worth her weight in gold." Gah i am an ass! there was no pun intended.

His eyes light up and he weakly smiles like something is on his mind, "Oh Lisa, yeah she rocks. I actually know her."

That shocked me, Qhuinn doesn't really KNOW anyone, and i cant help but to resent the plus size hussy. "whats that look about?' he asks, leaning closer to me in the small space, his color picking up.

"What look?" I ask washing my hands again breaking the eye contact. Coming up he nudges my shoulder.

"the pouty look you just gave me?"

"Its for no reason, it is not business who you know and who you don't." possibly i spoke too quickly giving me away, or maybe it was the near snarl, but he barked out laughing. "whats so funny," i huffed looking at him laughing, the man is forever hauntingly beautiful. Crossing my arms over my chest so it doesn't burst out of my body.

"don't be jealous Blay," he smacks my shoulder. "she is just a cool female," he nods now looking away from me as he washes his hands. "that bartend at a bar i frequent." Well hmm that made sense.

"so you have this secret friend?" I couldn't help but ask. It was a knee jerk reaction.

"No she isn't a secret i just never ran into her outside of Bella Mourte, she is cool. The light skin brown girl is her wife of 6 years. They both have men they use for sex, but the love they give is only to each other. So really Blay no worries." drying off his hands, and throwing the paper towel in the trash, has me hard a rock. God the little things he does, it drives me crazy.

"So you don't find her beautiful?' I ask being a dick, if he says yes than i will be angry, if he says no he is a dick.

"Pfft she is pretty smokin to be honest, on the meaty side. But thats cool i am a vampire, not werewolf who chews on bones." he winks at me, making my face flame. "but you are correct she is of a nice stock. I cant taint her," he weakly smiled making my heart ache for him.

"Then why was you showing her your best lustful gaze, huh? Giving her your bedroom Qhuinn eyes? I seen you earlier, locked gazes you couldn't look away from her and her 'wife'" there wasn't any stopping myself. All those damn PBR has gotten me drunk, and i just couldn't stop from saying or asking what was on my mind. And sounding like a jackass.

"You mean this," he says huskily turning that mis-matched stare into me, slowly seducing me with his eyes as they roam my body. My throat is dry and i hate that i am rock hard. He licks his lips as he makes his way back to me, stopping at the vein that is beating hard at my neck. "Weird and crazy shit has happen tonight, i am in a honest mood." His stare hypnotized me, i couldn't move, think, hell i could barely breath. He walks closer we are less than half an inch away from each other, i feel his heat through his clothes and through mine. Goosebumps rise all over my body as i stare at him, the man i will always love but never have. Angling his head up a notch, his lips are almost touching mine, i can taste his breath on my lips. "i have been looking at you." he whispers as he finally touches my shoulders with his hands, gentle rubbing them. I think i am about to start hyperventilating.

"w-w-w-why me, why now?" whispering back, not to play his game but because that is really all i could do.

"because i want you," he breathes on my neck and I moan. "But i can not have you." bringing his face to look at me, making me endure his torture yet again, rubbing his thumbs over my cheek.

OH FUCK THIS! My he is fucking with me again DAMN HIM! "DAMN YOU QHUINN!" screaming at him pushing him away. "Damn you, you will not do this to me. I will not let you!' I scream at his shocked face.

"What did i do Blay?" he pleaded with his eyes.

"EVERYTHING, you don't want me but no one else can have me! Or worse you do want me but you don't have the balls to take me! I have loved you forever, never, no matter what you have done to me, in front of me, or in-spite of me has that love ever wavered. But i tell you this now Qhuinn. This game you play with my heart is over. I will not allow you to do this to me again." Turning on my heels i storm out and walk past everyone. Pass the giggling girls, pass the douche-bag guy, pass John and Xhex, and past my male. I hear Qhuinn coming behind me, but i do not pay him any attention as i walk to wards the DJ. Whispering in his ear and passing him a $100 bill so i can be next up.

"Blay, stop, turn around, lets talk?" he says to me, but i don't budge. i know to our friends we are causing a scene, but I just cant let this continue. I am finishes with this tragic saga! the i love yous i want you, but i don't want you.

"Next up we got Blaylock!" I hear my name over the p.a. walking on too the stage, i look at my lover, his concern look makes me smile. John and Xhex are staring, i feel xhex probing at me, sliding my shield up to keep her outta my fuckin head. The music starts. (youtube .com/watch?v=5uqUAxNsCE4)

"_You better crawl, on your knees_." I began singing with my eyes close, than opening them to find that mis-match stare. Locking gazes i sing this to him. Maybe now he will get it. "Before the next time you say that you love me." He flinches but i cant bring myself to care.

"_Fall on your knees, because this time I won't be so kind,_" making sure he sees all of my emotion as i sing this tragic song that i feel was taylor made for the two of us. "_Can't you see that this is life and life is killing me_!"

~~~~LF~~~

"_Is it yours? is it mine_?" i hear his heartbreakingly beautiful voice sing to me as his watery eyes look nowhere else but at mine. Gosh why are things this messed up with the two of us. I lied when i told Wraith i wouldn't take killing Lash back. Because for him, for my Blaylock i will! I would damn it! If i would have never slit that bastards throat, than i wouldn't have been on the run. Than i wouldn't have had to try and crush Blaylock. Well there really isn't a trying is there? I managed it, but i didn't just stop there. **I take it back**, i scream in my head as Blaylock screams the lyrics.

"_Tell me, over and over and over and over and over never was time for us, it never was time to let me in. Show me, over and over and over and over and over again. It never was time for us, it never was time to let me in_"

My eyes water as i still stare at him, as he sings this tragic song with his shattered heart and soul.

"_You better see how evil you can be,When you see my evil smile. It's the one that you'll remember when I am not so kind_." he croons and i feel like my insides are split into a millionpeices. "Can't you see that this is death and death is saving me." he closes his beautiful eyes to me then, his voice cracking and i cant take it anymore. The male was killing me.

Turning from him, i walk straight to the bar and buy the bottle of the strongest shit they had and walked over to the corner, away from Saxton, away from John, and Xhex, even away from Lisa and her freaky paranormal voodoo shit she did to me. That trance really fucked me up, but i seen it, i seen color again. I seen the blue of his eyes. Before i woke back up looking at the Lovers, smiling as if they knew what jut happen. I need to talk to V or someone about it. But the hardest part was getting away from Blaylock as he screams at me "_Tell me, over and over and over and over and over again. It never was time for us, it never was time to let me in_."

Looking at my beautiful friend, the man that will forever have my heart, the Lover i will forever long to be there for, to take care of, the man i have loved even when i didn't know what love was. He was letting me go, and i mourn him now, as i will my Lover forever.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

**i am so sorry it has taken me toooo long to write this out. i have been in a fight with Qhuinn and Saxton for a lil bit. I didnt want to be too rash!**

**Anyhoo thanks to the reviews and the adds. It seriously has me keep going. so for those that do...thank you so much. I am almost finished with Lover Unleashed, but i am still staying true to where i am going with this, without fuckin up the Wardens story.**

**_Lady Babette, my rock! Chica thanks boo so much for everything :)_**

Fuck this! Thinking to myself as i down the rest of easily my fourth bottle of..well i ain't too sure how many i have drank. Damn it Blay! That fuckin tragic song playing over and over and over in my head. Doesn't he see that its not that i don't want him, and not that i don't want to let him in. I am just terrible for him! everything i do, i do it for him! All for the mother fucking greater good!Breaking the bottle, my anger taking over, my hand is now bleeding! What a fuckin genius i am. "fuck!"

A napkin appears right in front of my face, "here you go tough guy," Great just what i need, this humanoid all up in my puss. Sorry chick, don't have no room on my plate for anymore weird shit. Now lets remember people i am a vampire. Weird shit is my birth right!

"Humanoid?" she ask sitting her plump ass down in the cheap red pleather chair next to me, making me look at her. I never claim to be gentleman, but i know i didn't say she could sit with me. Even if i did need the company. "What are you?" the question spews from my mouth before i can even think. But than again, i would have prolly asked anyways.

"What are you?" she smiles poking me hard in the chest, then winking her painted eyelid.

"not fair babe, i asked you first." i smile feeling more at ease after her touch. Maybe she is like a witch doctor or something normal.

"True, mi amigo. But who or WHAT." she emphasized "i am,that doesn't really matter now, does it?" she smiles again. Bloody female always smiling, and confusing the shit out of me.

"Fine, you smell different," I say again, not caring at all what i say. Nothing phases this female, she laughs in my face again!

She leans in an sniffs my neck."You have your nerve? You smell of a hungry, poorly fed male, who is stuck where he is, due to his lack of action."

Feeling my anger boil at the female. "WHAT ARE YOU!" I roar. Her brown eyes flashed from a really dark tint to white, then back dark.

"Listen here vampire, i am just another person you have met, what i am is of no concern to you. I am simply here to help, to not harm, but boy you make it hard! You best think the Scribe Virgin you are dead sexy!" she says her hair lifting as if wind was blowing from outta her skin. My blood runs cold at not only her now frightening sight, but of her words.

"How do you know the SV?' leaning down whispering to her.

She looks at me, her face shows just the slightest emotion of pain, before it is quickly masked. "How could i not." she barely whispers. "I fear Qhuinn the time is coming soon to claim your male, if he is too be yours. His heart is yours for now, but it is terribly wounded from the pain you inflict upon him. So his heart is open, and i fear one is filling it up. bandaging with their own."

My heart seizes up at her words. What is this female, and god why is she saying this to me. Looking over, i see Saxton resting his head on Blays massive shoulder, rubbing his back. Blay smiling down at my cousin, with that twinkle, damn, that twinkle used to belong to me. "Can you not tell me who you are?" I ask looking back at Lisa. Her expression seemed far away. She look blank, but i could see the tightness in her eyes as she relives something not so pleasant. I am true bastard for asking this of her.

"i am other," she met my eyes. "A tragic mistake, that once corrected left this shell," she sighed using a hand motion to show her body. She looked so sad, my protective instinct kicking in, reaching over i cup her soft, rounded face, and hug her to me.

"I will not ask anymore, But just for the record, there isn't anything wrong with your shell." Bloody female burst out laughing again. This time making me smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LF~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_you OK_? John sign after Saxton left to get me another drink. I needed it after belting that song to Qhuinn. Hopefully the message got through his thick beautiful skull. Who the fuck was i kidding. It was still heartbreaking, and as our eyes fucked each other. Something our bodies never did, and never will. He thinks he is the defect, truly it is I, that is poison? But looking at John, i realize i had not answered him.

Giving him a half hearted smile, that wouldn't have fooled Ray Charles. god rest his soul. "I am good, bro." John just looked at me and started signing shit like what the fuck ever. "John look, lets just enjoy this night okay?" He still looked like he wanted to challenge me, but i couldn't bare it. "Please." was my one word response as Saxton brought me a mixed drink.

"Ah Dearest it seem this place does offer something more then terrible beer," Sax smiled handing me the drink the squeezing his self into me. It is so funny still seeing Saxton in jeans, i suppose i should take a picture of this. I doubt it will ever happen again.

"Yum," smiling at him. The man was just amazing. He didn't question or show me pity after i finished, just gave me a hug and a drink. Sometimes thats all a man really needs.

"Oh fuck me," Xhex stated then nodded to wards the stage.

"Such language,' Sax smiled, "and from such a lady."

"Yeh, up yours!" she looked at Sax, then nervously to her Hellren.

The PA had a loud squeal and then an all to familiar voice came over. I would have know that voice even if i had not heard it for 300 years.

"Hi...I suck at singing, and if you are like most people and come to see a train wreck, well you wont be disappointed. This song, is one i have listen to almost every night since i fucked up. Well since the big fuck up, how about that. And let me tell you people, i fuck up, ALOT!" Qhuinn stated as he paced the stage looking everywhere and nowhere all at once. He stopped his pace as we made eye contact again, then he looked at Saxton. In the old language he spoke "too my blood, i fear i can not keep my promise. i am a screw up and dishonorable. but you understand, i hope you do." i glanced at Saxton who's jaws was clinched tight. His eyes did not waver from Qhuinns, and Q just looked guilty. I wonder what that is all about. But sadly i think i am about to find out.

"To the one that i fucked up the most with...I am sorry okay. i am soo fuckin sorry. and i mean every single word of this song, and its too you." he looked at me then, and i couldn't look away.

(youtube link please listen . com/watch?v=KbGTLTTAa0g)

"**_I cry myself to sleep again tonight. 'Cause I cannot hold you tight_**." if his eyes had me in a trance, his voiced had me bewitched. I recognize the song. Just another song that we used to sing together, but one that i think of him when we sung to each other in our pre-trans days. God the bastard.

"**_I wish I could see you again tomorrow. To take all this sorrow. Sorrow, I'm hollow._**" Those eyes of his are breaking my heart all over again. As if that was possible. "**_When I touch you, Can you feel It, When I need you Can you give it_**." As if he really had to ask. But how much can one person take.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LF~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The words are just pouring out of me. His song was how he felt, well i know i am a bastard but this song is how i feel to the fullest. Without him in my life is utter misery. I miss him, i miss us. So to him i sing in hopes i make this right. For him, and for me.

"**_These tears on my face, Are for you_**." I feel the tears in my eyes but i cant stop them. Some male of worth i will never be. "**_I wish that I could hold you, touch you, feel you._**" Closing my eyes to get them to clear my vision. I need him to look at me at the next part. I remember us at kids singing this part to each other, but we didn't get it. Well maybe he did. But as everyone knows i am a slow learner.

"**My heart is bleeding, Can't you see!**" Punching my chest but looking at My Blaylock. God Sweet Virgin make him see. "**_I wish that you could hold me, Touch me, feel me_**."

The song is taking an instrumental break, and my mind is running a million thoughts a second. His wonderful eyes haven't left, and i feel the tension spilling off of JM and Xhex. Stealing a glance at my cousin, his top lip is peeled back showing fangs. The predator in me is up for the challenge. I would do anything for Blay, the first step is to stop running from him. Well i have stopped and I'm here now. And ole pearl eyes has another thing coming if he thinks i am backing down.

"**_Misery Is what I feel, When you're not around, So I can't heal_**" finishing the song looking nowhere but to wards my Blaylock. I hear applause, but that shit don't matter to me. Stepping off the stage i walk up to him. Swallowing my pride, ignoring the growl, and all the warning signs. I cannot read his face. It looks like he wants to weep, wants to flee want too...

The alcohol stings my eyes for just a moment, wiping the thrown drink i look at him, shocked. It wasn't that he threw it at me, i guess i had it coming, but i have no words. "You just don't get it, do you." he whispers before he leaves the table and walks outside. Not sure what i had expected. Maybe him throwing his arms around me, and devouring my lips, or a hug. a smile. anything. But drink in the face, and then he was just going to waltz out. AIN'T HAPPENING!

I try to follow but my cousin blocks me, his fangs still exposed, taking me on. His puny body isn't what concerns me, but i will try my best to not kill my cousin. "NO!" he pushes on my chest. This time my lip peels back. "You will not do this to him! Do not follow him. This night is over, and you are coming with me!" he orders, but i do not have time for this. Blaylock is out there and i want to speak with him.

"I said no!" Saxton blocks all attempts of me heading to the exit! I will tear him apart if he thinks he will keep me from what is MINE!

"Saxton I am sorry, but get out of my way!" whispering ever so deadly in his ear, to not cause an even bigger scene.

Sax just looked at me, anger, hurt and then the worst... pity was in his eyes. "Take a ride with me. Hear what i have to say. Then you may leave."

"This is not a bargain Sax, i leave when i say."

Saxton closed his eyes pinching the bridge of his nose, in attempts to calm himself. "If you are so hellbent on ruining him, then so be it." Saxton turn from the spot and started walking outside.

Gotta admit, it sorta took the pissed off outta me, and added the worry. Ruin him?

"Go Qhuinn," Xhex whispered in my ear. "Listen to what he has to say." Turning to wards the female, and my other best friend, i feel like an ass-hat.

"I'm sorry, i keep saying it, but i am sorry."

_all good man, but the female says go, and maybe you should._ John sign, the worry plainly written all over his face.

"I want to say i will make this up to you all. But I'm not sure i know how. Be safe," was parting words to my best friend and his female. Walking out I look around hoping to catch Saxton. Every fiber in me wants to tear him apart, but i need to hear him out. This isn't his fault. Looking around i catch him hoping into his car. Without thinking i demat right in front of his driver door.

"Get in, buckle up, and shut the hell up cousin. Because i have a lot to say, and a short amount of time to do it."

Opening the door, i do as he says, looking at him i cant help but be a smart ass. "My ears are open too."

"keep it up cousin mine, so will your neck."


End file.
